I'm being thorn apart between the selfish feeling of anchoring by my side without going anywhere. And keep pretending like I'll save her from her hell.
Or setting her free and stay alone for the first time since I can remember. Which would mean I drown in my own thoughts and fears.
And how could I be the hero when I can't even save myself?

I once held an angel in my hands. She was the most luminous, beautiful and fragile creature my eyes have beheld. I could not wrap my head around the fact that someone like her could exist in the same universe as someone like me. The whole time I held her she looked fine. She looked comfortable. Whenever when I'd adjust my hands or move my arms she'd hold on to me even tighter. She always had the brightest smile. And I swear her eyes held all the light there is in the universe. She seemed happy in my arms. But one day I notice her wings had burn signs and had started to fall apart. I asked her if she was fine and without hesitation she said she was fine. But I knew I was the one who caused those scars. One day she was holding tight and with her big smile, and without warning I opened my arms. I will never forget the look on her face when I let go. She looked betrayed, hurt and even a bit disappointed. I tried to explain that it was for her own good. That I had held her down for too long. That things like me should be near creatures like her, for there's always damage to be done. I never saw her since then, but I pray to every god there ever was, there is and there will ever be that one day she understands that I did it for her.

I managed to control it.
I’ve helped you keep it within your walls,
But it has started to leak.
I can see a bit on your eyes.
When you kiss me I hint some on your lips.
It has corrupted your essence.
I can feel it as you walk past me.
It grows larger,
It’s wrapping around you,
I can already hear your short breathing.
Your body seems heavier.
Your footsteps get louder.
It has grown larger.


The Darkness.

I hate you so much.

He promised he'd always wait for her.
And he did, he kept his promise. Forever...
But she didn't promise she'd cameback
So she never did.

For you, my love only for you I painted autumn landscapes with thousands of colors over ashy mountains burned by my inner fire.

I painted you a blue sky under a golden sun reflected on giant mirrors of living water.
When my skies where as colorless as the eyes with which I looked at you.

I built trails so your feet wouldn't tire.
While I walked over paths of lust trying to make trails worthy of you to walk upon.

I killed every single woman in this world to show you that I only had eyes for you.
When behind your back and under the cover I gave my eyes, lips and passion to half of those women.

I recited you poems to your ear swearing that there was something about you hidden in them.
When every single word had the name of random women.

I composed you lullabies and I sang then to you as a poet.
When in my mind there was nothing but regret, a coward hiding behind doors, and a joust man trying to tear down that door to tell you things as they were.

You laid on my chest to hear the beating of my heart.
When in my chest I introduced a machine to mock the beat of a non-existent heart.

Every thought, every idea that you had, I broke my soul trying to make it happen rather than breaking your heart telling you the truth.

I loved you so much that I kept my hell to myself.  I put up a show of a fairytale before your eyes.

And is that you never deserved to see the other side of the coin.
I loved you with such intensity that I made up another reality to see you smile as much as I could.
But the body and soul of a mortal can only do so much..
And mine succumbed.

That's why when you were close to finding out I pushed you away and I left.
Because I prefer you staying with a good memory than with the bad mouth taste of my hell.

Because in the world there has never been, is, nor there'll never be someone purer than you.
My arms wont hold such light.
My eyes won't ever behold such paradise.
And I will never belong to someone else but you.

You say she doesn't love me, that I should forget about her.
But, do you even know what love is?
Do you have any idea what you are asking me for?
If God tells me to forget her, I'd tell God no.
And if in punishment for my impious blasphemy he snatches her from me, then I **** myself, go to heaven and take her from him.