Still
Void
Empty
Full
Null

I'm board
Board out of my mind board
Board as in so board
That I can even saw through my own
Boardom
I'm so board I have to nail myself to
Something else so I'm not board
Board as in board that I paint over
My fatigue and lack of enthusiasm
Board as in obstinate
So obstinate I don't even know what
Death is anymore
It doesn't visit me
There is no gravitational theft here.
Board as in people step on me
To get to something board
Board as in I've been hung under something else for stabilization.
Yeah that's it I'm board

Do I plan to get up
Early on weekends to finish my
Homework?
Do I plan to celebrate my grandmother's birthday
By saying:"happy birthday I'll be upstairs learning about photosynthesis?"
Of course not.
Homework interrupts the daily life
The life I planned out
I have so much I want to do
And so little time to do it
I want to fly in the sky, arms outstretched
I want to hide in the dark night of
My soul and talk
I want to swim in the warmest water
Until my skin withers like a raisin
I want to watch the sunrise
And wonder if it had any homework
So this is me 7:18 am
And I'm doing homework
On a saturday

It's funny how alone
Someone can feel in the middle
Of a swarm of people.
Who talks to me
Who asks why alone in a crowd of people

They tell me I'm not good enough
Too short, too fat, too crazy
Your curly hair seems eccentric
And you will never fit into society
I must wedge myself in between
Society's grooves
Like the knots in a board of wood
Only I'm bored,
My hair is in a knot
And the groove I seem to fit in is the
One labeled "weird" by society.
Perhaps I don't fit in that box
Packed in so tightly I
Can barely breathe.
So they tell me to get thinner
Get smaller
And perhaps
Don't even exist

Yes they called them foolish stupid might be a better term
Why leave
They said
It's not that bad
They left because they didn't want to hear those terrible words
And I secretly agreed with them
But why did I not leave and
Become the minority?
Why did I not stand up with them?
If I am to die why not die with friends?

If only people saw my poetry
They would know how much of a genius I am
If only people saw my dangerous blue eyes, they would see how mysterious
I am
If only people saw my heart
They would know how kind I am
If only people saw my thoughts
They would know how smart I am
If only people saw me
They would know that
I am
Alive