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Irenna Stiebs Jun 2015
I'm an angel, I'm a devil
I am sometimes in between.

I'm as good as it gets,
and as bad as can be.

Sometimes I'm a million colors.
Sometimes I'm black and white.

I'm someone filled with self-belief,
I'm haunted by self doubt.

Vie got all the answers,
I've got nothing figured out.

I'm a million contradictions.
Irenna Stiebs Jun 2015
Hi, I'm depressive disorder.
People like to pin me as a persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that can lead to a range of emotional and physical conditions.
I am peculiar disorder, you see.
The thing about me is:
A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight.
But I am so insidious, and insistent,
that it's impossible to ever see the end when I’m block the view.
In other words, I blind you.
One thing is for sure, I definitely make a person feel lonely.
In the eyes of my victims,
I am a dark cloud that hangs over head all the time.
I am a low hum that you hear in the deep silence that resonates and gets louder with each passing hour you spend alone.
I am the empty eyes clouded over that anyone could see if they cared to look hard enough.
I am the stooped shoulders and rapid loss of weight.
I tend to be recognizable when my victim experiences unexplained moments of anger or sadness.
My victims have been known to self harm and self medicate.
And I can’t lie and say it feel a little twinge of happiness when a patient puts up a valid fight against me.
Only they can’t do it alone.
So stop me if you dare.
I'm waiting.
Irenna Stiebs Jun 2015
You can't run away from your own reflection.
The farther you get, the more its a deception.
And instead of changing you, you try to
change the mirror.
Not realizing that what's inside, is what will appear.
And then what do you do when the mirror falls?
Breaking into pieces as it hits the ground.
And as the truth subsides, you have to make a decision.
What's so wrong with being out of precision.
Because it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own.
And is wrongness really wrong if its all you've known?
Irenna Stiebs Jun 2015
Despite the obvious mistake
And the dues I couldn’t pay.
Despite the love you tried to give.
And the time I failed to make.
Aside from the lies and confusion
And obvious accusing.
Aside from both of us losing.
And the permanent bruising.
It was you from the start,
A stolen piece of art
The dullest knife just sawing back and forth.
Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal.
Irenna Stiebs Jun 2015
How was practice he said.
Keep it casual he meant.
Don’t get close, I yelled.
He got closer,
I fell.
I have some faults I confessed.
Ill love them too he lied.
Your dues are high,
I paused.
And I’m too broke,
Too late.
Irenna Stiebs Jun 2015
Like a rubber band, I may snap if you pull too hard.
And your blade, it might be too sharp.
We both have demons that we try and evade,
but unlike me, oblivion is all you crave.
You asked me to go, and I realized I could.
Because what I felt in my heart is simply what one would.
Acceptance of what we lost.
Forgiveness for what we didn't do sooner.
Sadness because its over.
Reassurance that I would be okay.
And the hope that it was real.

— The End —