cross-eyed puppy rottwieler
our bond of love is deep
because of his affliction
the ******* sold him cheap

visited  the local vet
took the time and trouble
to make my doggy better
and stop him seeing double

i'll have to put him down at once
said dr fronconstevi
why?  just because he's cross-eyed?
no,.... he's ******* heavy

lil jack horner, sat in the corner
nursing his aching back
stuck his fat thumb, right up his ***
and miss muffet gave him a wack

***** del the dealer
dyslexsic dodgy bloke
got a can stuck up my nose
when i tried sniffing coke

offered me a bisco discuit
i think was ecstasy
said that i would dance all night
but he called it a d

snack, and *****, d.m.a
maraganja, ****
pc plod approached the scene
and del was off at speed

i am the boss, and pay the cost
of your life every week
i'm upper class,so kiss my ***
twice daily on each cheek

you are my slave,until your grave
depend on me for pay
you must obey,all i say
eight hours every day

my status rules,you grateful fools
that grovel to my money
i demand, your grafting hands
feed me milk and honey

yeh, but......

i work for you, and listen to
the ******* and the crap
because i've got two kids to feed
along with mortgage trap

but you don't see, where i ***
when you demand a cuppa
laugh aloud, feeling proud
each time i eat my supper

you spit your ****, i laugh in fits
recall your furrowed frown
the night i painted your new car
and let the tyres down  

shout your clout, boss me about
don't care how i'm feeling
but you don't see, where i ***
and everything i'm stealing

the working girl approached him
a busy cardiff pub
stockings and suspenders
gave his leg a rub

hundred quid, i'm yours tonight
whatever you desire
heart beat like a big bass drum
his calvin kliens on fire

could not believe his fortune
what a stroke of luck
so he made her paint his house
and clean his ***** truck

the thief entered the window
then filled his pants with poo
voice came from the darkness
" twinkles watching you"

panic in his viens
unsure what to do
yet again the warning words
" twinkle's watching you"

trembling hand that shone a torch
then sighed with much relief
the parrot in a corner said....
" hello, my name is kieth"

what silly ******* named you that?
the robber mocked the bird
kieth the talking parrot?
the daftest thing i've heard

"the same man with a rottwweiler"
"that bit off someones nose"
"he's very good at creeping"
" his name is twinkle toes"

literate legends of the past
wordsworth, tennyson, shakespeare, poe
philosophers preaching wisdom
whilst churning words of woe

if born a century onward
their genius contribution
would re-direct thought
and our retribution

clever wit, used correctly
relays a message indirectly
be loud in voice
be strong in deed
plants that blosom
have nurtured seeds

learned men, with miserly souls
different values, different goals
hypothetically speaking, if resurrected
could this system be corrected

past vision blurred, future masked
the valley victim duly asked...
what make thee of my vale?
once vibrant, now lies stale

thine vale like a garment, tightly twined
sceptical of progress, wallow in decline
thy forefathers fester in premature tombs
martyrs to masters, grafted in gloom

thy dwell on the dead, thou should view ahead
though mystery of history must ever be read
tread forth with vision, or stumble ye blind
don't dwell on the dead, or land once mined