ewe wanna learn how to talk tidy
like all us welsh valley folk do
we don't know a coat from a jacket
we don't know a boot from a shoe

we  live up the road down by there
shoulder length cropped curly hair
got permanent jobs on the fiddle
two houses,and  mines in the middle

my mothers a tea total binger
blonde headed brunette called ginger
she always go out for a night in
to bingo she finds exciting

did you see that wind?
hear that snow?watch that song?
who's coat is that jacket?
and there it was....gone

i was'nt very clever
at maths at park st school
thick as **** when adding up
a mathematics mule

but i was quite good looking
girls where always there
counting not a problem
with gelled black streaky hair

puberty and progress
next stage after kissing
discovered that my *****
was'nt just for *******

then came my dilemma
a valley ****** vexed
blod the bike from blaina
begging to be sexed

how'd you want it bloddwyn?
oooh!....ten inches would be nice
i counted for a minute....
then i shagged her twice

at middle age there comes a stage
a crossroads with red lights
confused with lifes directions
straight on, left, or right

it only took a second
to realise i love fun
so i turned my **** around
went back to twenty one

rhondda boy, don't deploy
your life to poor existence
pits are closed,but not the song
welsh heart, and it's persistence

past unfair, leave it there
where history has stung
memories of  bampas words
and every song he sung

look ahead in all thats new
don't wallow in your woe
pits are gone, but not the song
your bampa used to now

a scientific problem
puzzled me last night
i pondered on the difference
comparing hard and light

suddenly it dawned on me
you'll have to beg my pardon
i can slumber with the light on
but can't sleep with a *******

he lives up the road, down by me
and tried to **** up a tree
tree was too high, he ****** in his eye
now the poor ****** can't see

ball bag of *****
ovaries beware
lust of the manhood
lies that he cares
over cooked passion
carelessly had
kiddies unwanted
some with no dad