Insomnimaniac

Insomnimaniac Jul 2013

I Am..

A self destructive pessimist
With a taste for unrequited love

Insomnimaniac Jul 2013

We are wanderers
All of us
Just wanderers
We go through day after day
Searching for something new to grasp on to for dear life
Maybe it's a person
Or a place
Or a thing
Or even an idea
But everyone of us has something that they are looking for
Something that we feel
Compelled by
Something that draws us closer
For some it's the the faraway lands of another world
That holds such promises
For others
It's a cause
That makes them swell with emotion
And push down a little harder and grasp a little longer
But for most
It's a touch
Or a warm exhale of someone else's breath on their neck
It's the promise of connection
Fueled by the desire to not only feel
But to be felt
Because we are all just wanderers
Searching for something
To make us feel alive

Insomnimaniac Jul 2013

Purpose of the Moon

Sleepy eyes make for achey hearts as I lay here and remember you on the side of the bed opposite me.
I used to think the sun and moon rose solely to shed light on the beauty we created.
But as the beauty died, they still rose.
So now I know I was blinded by the light that we created ourselves.
I know you're drunk and I remember when you used to get drunk off of me and my smell and my kiss and my taste.
And I'm completely sober like always, but I remember being drunk off of you too.
And sleepy eyes make for achey hearts as I realize that the moon and sun never did rise solely to shed light on the beauty we created.
Now, I'm done dying over you, and I'm done grabbing and pulling for your love.
Because I realize now,
After nights of pure pain and darkness and days that seemed to be never-endingly filled with memories of you,
That the sun and moon never ever did rise solely to shed light on the beauty we created.
And they'll continue to rise as long as I continue to breathe.
And even though I don't have you, they'll still rise and fall solely to shed light on the beauty that I can create without you.
So sleepy eyes make for sleepy hearts as I drift away into the light that the moon shines
Solely for me.

Insomnimaniac Jul 2013

Selfless

With scrambled thoughts
And tired eyes
I tried to write you
Lullabies

Insomnimaniac Jul 2013

Hypocrite

With hidden cuts on her legs
She whispers to him

"Please don't hurt yourself"

Insomnimaniac Jul 2013

Birth

Out of nothingness.
Dark, cramped, lonely nothingness.
Nothingness that was suffocating and empty
and loud and deadly quiet
and shocking and sterile
All at the same time.
Out of the long hallways that I stepped into everyday with no light at the end
And no flashlight to keep me from tripping on my bitter insecurities
and silent demons
and crumpled fears.
Out of the hole I dug continuously deeper,
Trying to bury my imperfections from the world,
but in reality trying to hide them from myself.
Out of the bruises and battle scars and bit off fingernails as short as my temper.
Out of endless rage.
Endless sadness.
Endless silent tears stained into my cheeks and onto my pillow.
Out of hatred.
Out of the struggles and the stress and the long sleepless nights.
Out of uncertainty.
I was born.
I was born out of my own bloodshed and it has made me
Strong.
I am strong because I know weakness.
I accept it; I welcome it as an old friend.
Because I know I created it,
and in turn,
It created me.

— The End —