stand outside
look at the stars
i like one
is it him?
should be him
because i liked him
actually i loved him
he was my everything
he was my king
i miss him
he is gone

i am Innocentia Fortunate Mahlangu
he was Busani Jeremiah Mahlangu

he was my only dad
i'm still his only daughter...

I love you

greed and desire
toxic and poison
love and hate
you and me
we are dangerous for each other but do we care
the world can stop and stare
as we take turns to love and despair
you are mine and I am yours
we are one and I love you and the pain that comes with it
you are mine and I don't care
the world can stop and stare I don't care

woke up and gazed at him
he lays there quite
I greet him good morning
he lays there silent
I lay on his chest, searching for a heart beat
he lays there still
I say a short silent prayer
he lays there motionless
I try to block the thousands hopeless thoughts...

I am hopeless
he is gone...

he looks at my ***
instead of my face

he looks at my hips
instead of my eyes

he is looking at my breast
instead of listening to me

im looking for love
but its just lust for him

****** desire...

he is looking for intimacy
im looking for love

we are two different people
looking for different things

i guess im looking for love
while he is looking for pleasure

could you please take your time
and look at me....

he loves me
he hates me

he touches me
he pushes me

he is the best
he is the worst

he hugs me
he hits me

he smiles
he cries

he makes me happy
he makes me sad

he is fifty shades
he is fifty shades of ****** up

he is my fifty
my fifty shades of ****** up

they cry
I comfort them
they weep
I wipe their tears
they get better
I let them

I hide my tears
they think I'm healing
I show them a smile
they think it's real
I laugh out loud
they think I'm moving on

I'm not
I'm dying
my soul is crying
my flash is longing
longing for your touch
for his words

"I love you baby"