I want to believe all I'm hearing from you
I'm tired of hearing things that just aren't true.
I need to feel passion and love in my life
happiness seldom reaches where pain cuts like a knife.
Left to my own imagination I have become quite jaded
too many words that would have been better left off unstated.
My mind playing tricks again I see only what I want to
overstayed my welcome my tears were the first clue.
How can I move on and love you the way you love me
when I can't stop punishing myself or stop being angry.
I am on a fast track the Devil's Highway
Nothing left now for me but, to pray.

Your eyes stared right through me
I didn't want you to see.
I attracted you to me like a moth to a flame
at first it was comical just playing this game.
Then somewhere it changed up and I knew I was stuck
I felt my heart melt, couldn't be saved, I was just out of luck.
I've spent many years just doing my part
playing with people while protecting my heart.
Sure, I've said some things that should have never been said
I'm guilty of breaking hearts and ******* with many a head.
I'm not too proud of what I have done in the past
my mindset was get in get what I want and get out really fast.
I finally realized what I've done isn't cool
when you came along and left me looking like the fool.

Is it wrong of me to think about you night and day
waiting to hear from you longing to hear you say
that you are thinking about me like I'm thinking about you
knowing it's wrong but, still wanting you to.
Timing is wrong we both know this too well
but, every moment I am not near you feels like I'm living in Hell.
Maybe I shouldn't be telling you this
but, nothing would make me happier then the taste of your kiss.

My heart is racing beating out of control
Never expected this, how was I to know.
Thoughts rushing around at the speed of light
Didn't want to leave, didn't want to say good night.
Already missing you in a matter of seconds
Already lonely, my heart starts to beckon
How have you touched me so deeply this fast
Breaking down every wall that protected me in the past.
My soul yearns for you,it's calling, can you hear it
There's a blazing fire inside me that you have lit.
I had given up on all chances of happiness
Every moment with you gives me nothing but bliss.
I get so excited just to know you are there
Nothing else concerns me you're my only care.
I'd give anything to touch you or just to kiss you one time
And I would surely die if you told me that you were all mine.

I'm standing in the mirror looking deep inside
seeing all the pain, all the times I wish I'd died.
Couldn't be consoled, couldn't find my way out
ready to end it all without a second doubt.
Strange how you see all that craziness in your own eyes
putting on a fake smile, telling all those lies.
Too many people took control of my very soul
led me down their path, strayed away from my goal.
Standing here still looking at that little girl
stomach ******* in knots, ready to hurl.
Death seems like the only real answer
these sickening thoughts eat through my brain like cancer.
Once I was so strong and now I am so very weak
razor to my face again as the blood drips down my cheek.
I lie on the floor blood shoots from my vein
the only time I feel relief is when I'm suffering in pain.

Sometimes I get scared when you are not around
my mind fills with thoughts to the point I almost begin to drown.
I try to push them out of my head and just feel you in my heart
I feel so empty without you, I almost fall apart.
And just when I feel I'm about to lose it all
you walk back in my life and say those words so very small.
They fill my soul with so much light
I cant help but know I shouldn't give up the fight.
I may get quite shy at times and not know what to say
but I need you to know it's you I think of every single day.
I dont know how you do it, how you make me feel so great
all that I know is this has got to be fate.
Sometimes I get so down because I miss you so bad
then my heart fills with rage over something I thought that we had.
I picture your face in my mind, I see it so clear
then comes the hopeless feelings of jealousy and fear.
Tears begin to run down my face, one by one then a lot
til I can't even move from all the pain that it brought.
I sit and I cry and I can't figure it out
that's when I realize I love you without any doubt.
It hurts me inside because you are absentee
I keep screaming out loud, "how could you forget about me?"
When I finally pick myself up and become strong once more
something happens I just can't ignore.
You come back to me and it's like you were there all along
then I think to myself I must have been wrong.
I hope you don't get upset that I am telling you this
but there's something about us together I just can't dismiss.
I try and be patient knowing that one day it will all be ok
I just miss you so much when you are away.
You make me so happy, you make me shine bright
I feel like a princess, you are my white knight.
Maybe it scares you that I come on strong
I hope you forgive me if I am doing this wrong.
I dream of you nightly is that such a crime
I want you with me forever not just some of the time.
I say these things to you because I can't hold it inside
I don't care who knows how much I love you I have nothing to hide.
You don't mean to hurt me I can hear it in your voice
things are this way because we have no other choice.
Just close your eyes, put your hand on your heart, what do you feel?
You are within me and I within you, you know this is real.
Open up to me, let me heal you, let me take away all of your pain
you have nothing to lose but, have so very much to gain.

The stars shine so bright in the sky as I sit shivering on this chilly night
I look for an answer to my prayers throughout the heaven's mysterious light.
My mind starts to wonder as I search among the stars
I begin to hear music, angelic guitars.
The clouds start swaying as if they were dancing to the sounds of the universe
the trees reaching out to heaven as if to shake hands and converse.
I feel like I am floating I am reaching towards the sky
I really want to go with them but, I haven't said good-bye.
I slowly come back to consciousness, I couldn't leave just yet
I have unfinished business I must tend to, as I awake in a cold sweat.
There's a touch, so soft and gentle on my face
I open my eyes to see I am in a strange place.
My children standing over me with tears upon their cheeks
turns out I was in the hospital, had been there several weeks.
I had tried to take my life one night they explained in utter pain
apparently I was upset so bad I literally went insane.
Guilt it is a funny thing it can eat your heart and soul
I didn't want to hurt them, just to end the suffering was my goal.
I am back at home now, I am getting better everyday
I just couldn't leave my family, so I made up my mind to stay.
Sometimes, I still stare at the sky, and imagine how it'd be
to hold and kiss my long lost ones and reunite our family tree.