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1.8k · Dec 2012
fatigue
Ingrid Dec 2012
all my days now are
days of fatigue
and i know they will ever be
swimming in this sickness cloud that is fatigue
where are my limbs
where
head a balloon
an empty earthen ***
where
my tongue dry out of place
place, trying to find it in the mouth
where
body
strangely light  
some weird machine i have to drive
skin
rhino skin
old, dry parchment
eyes glass things
where
worn out  soul looks at a dreamy world.
i wonder all the time if I am going really to faint or run into a wall, but all that happens is just more
fatigue
1.7k · Nov 2012
Atque vale
Ingrid Nov 2012
The only lipstick fit for real woman is
The glorious gore-red
Of her hearts' blood,
Painted with trembling fingers parting
Too early, of course,
While the parting still pains.
For remember, when love is dying
Nothing can save it
No sunsets, no flowers, no forest walks
No quantity of spearmint candy
No smiles, no coffee, no cigarettes
Even old jokes or magic words
Like "remember, the first time we…"
Or "do you speak Dutch";
No freesia candles burning
No cranberry lemonade, even with love potion
Can mend it.
No sewing our clothes together murmuring,
"Follow me as the thread follows the needle"
No wishing, no crying,
No phone calls,
No desperate words of love,
Not even if you both hold your hands
Conjuring last spring back;
Not even marriage,
Not even that.
Only your heart's blood can keep
The rose alive for a while
Over the dark frame
While the black-and-white photograph
(Pity that flies don't respect it)
Fades.
1.4k · Nov 2012
15/04/2006
Ingrid Nov 2012
Rain, coming softly at dawn, softens the dreamer's longing
Wintery watery blue-gray as cotton cloth
Called daba in their land, strong and rough
Merging with morning skies, cotton-gray clouds crowding;
Lemons in full bloom, fleur-d'-orange candles burning;
Smell, almost tangible, rises with currents of air
Stronger than that in July, of dung in banana-fields, choking
Stench wrapping houses, creeping in backyards, swimming in warm fog
Sackcloth houses of cardboard people asleep;
Dreamers hear rain dripping, skipping from leaf to leaf
Whispering.

Whispering to his companions, real, faithful
Standing by him till the time ends, intangible
Warrior proud and dark talking to swords,
Come and take me
Wounds on my body will smile as my love's red lips
Pain as the cruel words of that red lips
As if she were with me not him
Spirit of mountains, his friend, shy and courteous
Hiding his ugly face with his kimono sleeve
Pale moon over the colorless sea
Before sunrise.

Say, I wonder, all those I left behind
Say, when we are all dead
Will we still talk to each other in silence
Will they touch water of Rivers with my lips
Will I feel wrath of the fire with their hands
Sun, rising slowly, insolent fireball
Burns us before we think of answer
Outlines of shadows in stone
Stay for a while.

Sun, rising slowly, lights with its carrot rays
Fleur-d'-orange, incense of this shameless spring;
Boughs burning candles, best drug in trade,
Mark time to refresh stale loves
To re-marry every year again.
1.3k · Nov 2012
Spring 2007. Border.
Ingrid Nov 2012
Bless your body, your humble coffin
Bless your heart in Armageddon
Are they snowflakes or petals
Now slapping my face
With the wind – come and tell me

For my hands have no life
Touch and melt them
In the wind of this spring
Piercing
Cold
When the ruthlessly glorious sun
Pours all over this land seas of yellow
Lighting enemy towers on hills
Bright. Nice and friendly
Looks the land by the border today --

And a ladybug rocks on a daisy
In the minefield.
1.2k · Nov 2012
The Joker
Ingrid Nov 2012
The joker lives close by, right under my skin
That is stretched tight over to hide him
My lips full and red smile to cover his grin
My voice sings and twitters to chide him

Touch my body, his shell, touch and feel: he is in
Never ask he rides me or I ride him
With his flesh brazen brass and his nerves tinkling tin
He craves Solomon's wisdom to guide him

He wanders with clouds with no home and no kin
Just the joker and shadow beside him
1.1k · Dec 2012
Upwards
Ingrid Dec 2012
through the thick soup of human plankton
a tiny gray particle
me
in the thick soup of bodies
human plankton
me
looking up
the sun clouded by layers of human plankton
above me
me
looking up
skies obscured by layers of human plankton
above me
me
pushing my way up through the thick layers  of human plankton
upwards
for just one, just one
breath of fresh air
Does it look better in this shape?
1.0k · Dec 2012
Yoshitsune
Ingrid Dec 2012
Under the old linden trees
Deep, fragrant dark spreading.
There were two of us
Yoshitsune and me
Silent
Silent
Silent

Linden blossoms
Quietly fell to the ground
And then, it was morning
Minamoto no Yoshitsune (源 義経?, 1159 – June 15, 1189) was a general of the Minamoto clan of Japan in the late Heian and early Kamakura period. ... He is considered one of the greatest and the most popular warriors of his era, and one of the most famous samurai fighters in the history of Japan. The legends that deal with his public career show Yoshitsune as a great, virtuous warrior. He was often shown as kind to those around him and honorable, but he was also shown as short-tempered, tactless, blunt, and naive....After the Genpei War, Yoshitsune joined the cloistered Emperor Go-Shirakawa against his brother Yoritomo. Fleeing to the temporary protection of Fujiwara no Hidehira in Mutsu again, Yoshitsune was betrayed, defeated at the Battle of Koromo River, and forced to commit seppuku along with his wife and daughter, by Hidehira's son Fujiwara no Yasuhira...
Some tales however tell of Minamoto's no Yoshitsune escaping his pursuers; fleeing into the wilds of Mongolia; where he lived on under a new name, Temujin; known also as Genghis Khan
(From Wikipedia).
986 · Dec 2012
Upwards
Ingrid Dec 2012
Through the thick soup of human plankton
A tiny gray particle
Me
In the thick soup of bodies
Human plankton
Me
Looking up
The sun clouded by layers of human plankton
Above me
Me
Looking up
Skies obscured by layers of human plankton
Above me
Me
Pushing my way up through the thick layers  of human plankton
Upwards
For just one, just one
Breath of fresh air
Plankton (singular plankter) are any organisms that live in the water column and are incapable of swimming against a current.  They provide a crucial source of food to many large aquatic organisms, such as fish and whales.

These organisms include drifting animals, plants, archaea, algae, or bacteria that inhabit the pelagic zone of oceans, seas, or bodies of fresh water. That is, plankton are defined by their ecological niche rather than phylogenetic or taxonomic classification. (From Wikipedia)

Though many planktic (or planktonic—see the next section below) species are microscopic in size, plankton includes organisms covering a wide range of sizes, including large organisms such as jellyfish.
Ingrid Dec 2012
If I just could
pull the skin in one piece off my face
tearing slowly, strongly with my fingernails
baring the muscles

Then if I just could
pull the muscles away piece by piece
tearing slowly, strongly with my fingernails
baring the bones

Then if I just could
pull my eyes out of the sockets
tearing slowly, strongly with my fingernails
baring the empty gaze

Baring the truth of my face
Baring the grin of my skull
853 · Nov 2012
May 2006
Ingrid Nov 2012
Sweet wind that brings me desert dust and ashes
Or salty mist as blood on burning lips
Sweet wind that carries smells of roads and mountains
And rocks, and sands, and rusty wires, and tires,
And bullet-pierced sandbags, mines, and empty tins
And holy thorns that grow through them
And hot, bleak sky high over them
And dry, cracked clay embracing them
Sweet wind that brings me memories of war
Wind softly stroking dusty oleanders
And rushing all along the endless road
Wind –
Now tell me, when the land so lolls in sleepy peace –
Kids playing, women chatting, lovers dreaming,
Men building houses, furnishing, arranging –
All more fragile than cobweb lace
That busy housewives sweep away on sleepless daybreak
Sweet wind, tell me why I
I try to fill my mind with buzz and humdrum
Of knowledge – words, and thoughts, and numbers,
-- to stifle the voice, the shadow haunting me –
The voice that whispers softly, sweetly killing
To wake me up – to find myself again –
To send me far away where is my home:
To prison, madhouse, hospital, dodjo,
Wet dugout, earthquake rubble, secret lab
Where I belong, where all like me are going –
But still in vain,
For happiness, my prison guard and mate
Me torturing,
And happiness, the evil sheikh of nightmares,
His long, thin legs me strangling, hanging down
My shoulders,
His mud-brown hands me stopping ears, and eyes, and mouth –
And me
Who wanders through my days as empty rooms  
And endless corridors of giant fallout shelters
Where lonely steps reverberate in hollow hallways
And ruthless light
In which the shadow of my shadow
Me follows – counselor, and silent friend,
Unhurt by splinters of that broken magic mirror
That **** in air; may some benumb my heart
And let me play the game of words and numbers
That spells ETERNITY;
And let the sweet hashish of words and numbers
Make me forget;
Make me forgive, and live, and lie
That I believe the world of war will never come.
842 · Nov 2012
WORDS
Ingrid Nov 2012
Words come to you in silent strings
Then mingle and mix, go piggyback
Go ring-o-roses, round the garden
Then they sing
Go drumming barefoot
On clammy clay
In a far-off land
Oh where?
Just look
Behind your eyes
Inside your skull
There is
No-place
That doctors look
For
Years and years
But find just sliced brain –
Some body tissue, fat, and blood
And marvel gone.
823 · Nov 2012
The Seekers
Ingrid Nov 2012
Forgive the Seekers
They just have too much
Of dancing flame
Which turns limp clay of bodies into stone
So they stand straight, so that they can
Endure the quest.
As flies in honey stuck in time
They struggle
In strait-jacket of seconds
They revolt
In shackles of duty,  fetters called normal life
They strive
They dream
Of glory generous and vast as starry sky
To wrap their tired souls  

The clocks keep ticking ominously fast
Time-bombs familiar to all, death overlooked
Who hears them but the Seekers, wide awake
As soldiers,
Incurable ill,
And parting lovers.
They shed their skins as snakes do every year
For us to pick and wonder at, try on and keep –
Their books or paintings,
Bridges, wars, or songs.
They leave them easily and change as infants change,
From day to day
Who knows them knows
Their truth that was, and never what will be
And only wind can be their companion  
As fast, as mutable
A wanderer as they
As true
789 · Dec 2012
The Dreamer
Ingrid Dec 2012
I am the dreamer
So I don't belong
In world of things
I carry its distortion that is me
To blur and change its real colors
So dazzling clear
And every rustle and puff of wind
Rumbles in my ears
I hear
I feel my life
I taste the very air I breathe
Enjoy the pressure of my pen
On paper
See what I see
The castles of clouds
The velvet sea as jelly lazily lolling
And every blade of grass
So perfectly created
And hazed sky where winds as currents mingle and mix
See what I see
The dazzling limpid image of my world
With every line and shape as cut in light and glass
See what I see
For I'm the dreamer
752 · Nov 2012
The Axis of the Day
Ingrid Nov 2012
The razorblade of wind has cut the lisping night
And sent the sun up
In the east
The mountains idle glowing
In morning's sundust storm
I see the restless leaves reflecting seas of light
As tiny trembling mirrors
But in my mind will rest
The pitch- black sea with roads of boatlights
And pale Old Man as from a Tarot card
His wizard smile
In still and tender dark
In rustles of shadows
The Moon
       The eye of daytime action
                     the
                          tor
                              n­a
                                  do

04/2003
750 · Dec 2012
WORDSPINNING
Ingrid Dec 2012
Wordspinning
Wordthreading wordsewing
Wordspinning
Melted in some mellow glow
Deep inside
Words come in flickering flow
Bondless glide
Wordmatching wordpatching
Wordhatching wordsnatching
Wordspinning
671 · Nov 2012
Winter/Old City
Ingrid Nov 2012
Slow snowflakes, idly sifted over bridges
Can't cover lead-gray river running still
Rare works of art, brittle stars of airy frill
Melt silently on waves or heap on icy ridges.

The wind holds each and tosses at its will;
Each flake alone, in snowstorm wall unseen
Flies, falls, and vanishes -- as well as never been
For ever more burst down from toiling mill.

This twilight snowstorm time to think what wakes
Frail, fleeting beauty seen in people, clouds, and flakes.
Ingrid Nov 2012
We parted in a May morning
On a merry walk, my shadow and I
When evil clouds stole him from me
And I came home alone to cry

And a writer of bad deeds on my left
And a writer of good deeds on my right
And over me a black, black cloud
My portable hell, my personal night
642 · Dec 2012
Winged Love
Ingrid Dec 2012
I raised my hand
Yet could not **** them...

A pair of winged lovers
Mating
In my empty coffee cup

Fat black flies
614 · Nov 2012
Baron Saturday
Ingrid Nov 2012
When the fire is out and its roaring long gone
Gone its heat and its violent flashes
The Baron comes slowly and silently in
My partner when playing the ashes
When the fire is out on a Saturday night
Out fighting and merciless clashes
The Baron is welcome; he always is in
To join me when playing the ashes
599 · Nov 2012
Misery Is
Ingrid Nov 2012
Loneliness is
When you look for the one you love
And cannot find him
In the crowd
Silence is
When you long to hear
Only one voice
That is not there
Among so many others
Misery is
When you're loved by the whole world
But not by the one
You love
590 · Dec 2012
Till the death parts us
Ingrid Dec 2012
There's a bond of invisible flame
Infinitely strong
Infinitely thin
Stretching over the ocean
Connecting us
Forever
Forever
Though we will never
Touch each other again
Till the death parts us
573 · Dec 2012
The Polyglot
Ingrid Dec 2012
Six tongues in my mouth
Six minds in my mind
Six knives in my back
Six bullets.
Each tongue wants its turn
Each mind wants its way
Each knife wants a hand
To pull it.
About the experience of being actually able to speak six languages: how each brings along different cultures, mentalities, and ways of expression that sometimes betray you, or influence you in a manner you don't like...
570 · Nov 2012
Winter 1996
Ingrid Nov 2012
When touch
I feel still painful burns
Left by the snow, the tender snow
Scorched by the flakes so dainty, light, and white
That winter day

And every flake took down to hell
My heart
Me leaving mocked and fooled  
By self
Alone in busy streets

My city loud and bright
Was strange and still
For me
That winter day
499 · Nov 2012
The Polyglot
Ingrid Nov 2012
Six tongues in my mouth
Six minds in my mind
Six knives in my back
Six bullets.
Each tongue wants its turn
Each mind wants its way
Each knife wants a hand
To pull it.

— The End —