Here's the thing, you sit here crying over her.
You want it all back.
How many nights did she sob? Beg? Plead?
You stomped her into the ground.
Then, she rises stronger and more beautiful then before.
She realizes her happiness is her own.
You're too late, through destroying her.
You made someone far more amazing and that much stronger.
She'll say thank you, and she'll walk away.
You will sit with your regrets while she takes on the world.
Watch your world discover one,
Where you just exist.
Where she wanders wherever you will not be.
You broke it apart.
While glass shattered around her.
She was the only One there to help her.
While you saw the wounds,
And chose not to care.
The scars are fading my friend.
And with them, you
Become a memory of how she got where she's going.

Is it so hard to remember my love,
How you felt?
How you would smell my hair and let out a sigh beside me.
How you would make me feel the way no one ever has,
No one will.
Do you remember smiling, by just looking at me?
Do you remember the inside jokes,
The sleep ins, the late nights.
Do you remember candy land?
How Maddy would always win?
And how terrible a loser she was.
Do you remember coming home 8 years ago,
After that week apart?
Where you fell on the floor,
Came to me and just grabbed me as if you'd never let me go again?
How we didn't have money, but we had each other.
And that was always enough?
Where did you go?
Come back here,
Please one day fall through the door and kiss the floor and be thankful I still love you.

This is not you.
This person you've become.
This is a bad dream that will end.
When will I wake up with you beside me.
With all that's leftover a chill.
A distant memory of this ruined life.
These ruined memories,
Poisoned, tainted.
when will love outweigh the destruction.
This cannot be real,
This cannot be my life now.
You couldn't have done this to yourself.
Let yourself slip into an abyss,
So deep, so cold, so haunted.
You're just breathing,
That's all that's left.
This strong, loving, tender soul.
This soul that would cling to me when he needed to.
This man who protected me,
Saved me from myself.
Is no where around anymore.
No where near me to save me now,
Or let me save you.
You've let yourself die inside and pushed me away.
We both died inside.

I died my hair black,
To forget about you.
To be able to look at myself,
See someone who wasn't alone.
To be able to give myself a chance.
To make you see I'm beautiful always.
You can't see it,
You don't want to.
I'm alone.
Still can't look at myself.
Still can't face the truth of it all.
Still ugly, still unwanted.
Still not worth your time.
I have black hair,
It matches my soul.

I guess this is it, the breaking point.
The time I thought would never actually arrive.
I thought it would work out, I thought you would care.
Care enough about me, enough about yourself.
Love is a funny thing, I can't stay because of my love.
Leaving is the only thing left, you aren't here anymore.
My heart wants to jump out of its chest.
I want to scream, I want to shake you and show you what magic you're stealing from our lives.
The laughs as a family, the time and the hugs.
Our kisses, our late nights.
The things that mean so much to me, seem to mean nothing to you.
I have wanted you to grab me, hold me scream how much you love me.
I wanted you to do anything for me.
To take charge and take me, to fix our family.
Your desire for me, is gone.
Your will to fight for me is obsolete.
So I'm left walking away, wishing for a miracle.
For a change of heart, for you to scream don't leave.
That you don't makes this more painful, makes this so hard to take.
Yet, it also shows me I'm making the right decision.
Twenty years from now, I will still love you.
But I won't have to regret living a life of hurt.
I wanted this love, I wanted this life, the way it was.
I wished and prayed and begged and yelled.
None of those things will change that you don't love me.
Nothing hurts me more walking away, loving you so completely.
Knowing you don't feel the same way.
I wish I could turn back the time to where you held me close and I could feel nothing but your unconditional love for me.
How did you just stop loving me, our love was so strong.
I'm dying inside, I've lost one of the biggest parts of my life.
I've lost the family I dreamed about.

Let me be kinder to myself.
Forgiving, like I am to others.
Let me see beauty in my reflection.
Smile, everything is better with one.
Let me take time for the small things.
Give me the colour I want.
Let me walk near the water,
And sit with a book in my hand.
Let me appreciate myself again.
Let me not value myself by others wrongdoings.
Let me respect myself,
Then I will not do the same to someone else.
Let me have cheesecake.
My self worth is not determined by my body.

Please self, stop fighting yourself.
And let myself finally free.

Here I am, older not wiser
Stuck in the same nothingness.
You're not here, you carry on.
You, who doesn't want my life,
Yet just holds me captive in limbo.

Me, upset, lost, confused, alone.
You, unwilling, carefree, unencumbered.
The tears don't change your behaviour,
The talks are a waste of breath.

My head is spinning like a tornado.
While you put your time elsewhere.
The hurt, the heartbreak, the lies you tell
Leave no effect, no remorse from you.

The clock ticked, you watch the time slip by.
While I held the house on my shoulders.
While I broke, I slipped away.
I hid and cried, my mind has given out.

Never once did you dry my tears.