Every day
I want to see your beautiful smile
The one you had before
The one I became in love with

Every day
I want to be everything you need
I can't fix all your problems
But you won't have to face them all alone

Every day
I am tired of putting in more effort than I receive
I hate that 'not good enough' feeling
But I still take care of you

Every day
I wish I could hurt you the way you hurt me
But I know that if I had the chance
I wouldn't do it

Every day

When I was in primary school
An old friend told me that I was gay
I didn't understand it
'I'm not gay', I denied to the last that it was true
Even though I knew it

But every time I thought of that sentence and took that with me

A few years later I had a relationship with a guy
Only there was something missing
I didn't know what it was
But during that relationship, I had feelings for a woman
I denied to the last that I was in love with her
Even though I knew it

That made me hesitate
Who am I?

Then meeting one girl was all I needed to comfirm
That I'm bi
I was so in love with her
Because of her I told my parents and all my friends
I was never so beyond all doubt

But then she became more and more doubtful
Even though she is hurting me now
I don't want to lose her and her incredible love
One of the worst feelings in life I think

Please, someone
Wake me up from this big nightmare
Because I don't understand love anymore

I don't fit in your perfections
I don't fit into your lie

That's what I thought this weekend
It was really hard for me to understand why you didn't tell me everything
When I think of the thought of losing you
I don't want to do anything
Only I want to cry
But when we talked yesterday I felt so much better
Although there were a lot of painfully moments

You don't know it yet
But you are really special for me
There are so many things about you what I love
I love your presence when I am with you
I can't explain what you do to me
But when I smell your sweater now
I want to go to you and talk to you for hours
Actually, I don't have a thing about you what I don't love
My dear Carlijn, *I love you so much

When two people are meant for each other
No distance is too far
No time is too long*

I think these sentences are according to us

When you were in Enschede
I had never thought of leaving you
Never
Even though we were not a couple at the time

'Cause
I have feelings for you since the first moment I saw you
And love is blind as you know

I remember my holiday in Spain
We talked and texted all the time
Suddenly, you felt really bad about your choice to move on to Enschede
There was nothing I could do for you
'Cause you were there in Enschede and I couldn't visit you
That made me feel so miserable

When I came back from my holiday this all had changed
You left Enschede for Rotterdam
I had never expected that you were going to study here
Oh I was so incredibly happy

We are one month further now
I know you still have your doubts sometimes
But remember that I will always be there for you

Hours feel like seconds
When I'm with you
But
When we're apart
Days feel like years

Oh dear
I don't know what it is about you
But
You give me
So many reasons to smile

For instance
I had never expected
You would like me
And I had never expected
I would like you more than my previous dates

You may be a girl
But
The truth is
If I could be with anyone
I'd still choose you

Actually
I have no idea
Of the state we are in
We are not dating anymore
*Are we?