I am a little girl
No bigger than a fairy
No older than a new born
No wiser than a turtle

I am the conservative one
The one who rules herself
But only by following the rules
I am not wild

I am the try hard
I never consider others
Only myself
Always myself

I make myself look big
By taking my magic wand
And creating an illusion
That I am older

But
The thing about knowing the boundaries
Is that I can see
What true rebellion is

I want to be free
Free from myself
Free from my own chains
That I placed to hold me back

When you are little
You can't begin to imagine
What the future you
Will long for

And boy
Was I wrong
As I sprout up
I look back and laugh

How did I think
That I would not become
One of the skins of those pretty petty girls
That everyone ends up in

I am naive
To think that I was better
I would not fall to that level
Little me was bigger

Look what I have become
Everyone predicted it but me
I would never thought this
Would ever happen to a person like I

I sometimes use my little girl mind
And become disappointed in myself
But even as I mature
I am still that little girl

I am ashamed of my now self
But I'm just a little girl
I have no idea what is in store for me
Who I will be, when I'm not little

Funny how a photograph can pump blood
I only have one of you, it isn't mine
it sits here backlit
shared with all that would gladly drown in those mischief eyes.
Your smile, a moment of calm, a second of perfection caught, always brings my own.
There is no beauty like yours, no work of art has ever made me want to overflow with passion the way you do. I could write countless poems, a thousand odes to your dimples, a million sonnets to your curls, a billion lovesongs to your eyes to no avail. So I'll laugh at your jokes, and be a sturdy shoulder, a friend.  I'll wish the best for you always, while your heart keeps my secret safe. Poets shouldn't fall in love with the unloved, there aren't enough words to describe the agony.

Hello.
My eyes say.
As yours skirt past mine.

Look over here.
Look at me.
But you do not.

I see your loneliness.
Here, I have a seat for you.
Why aren't you coming over?

Do you see my eyes?
They avoid everyone.
Except you.

Look.
Look over here.
It isn't too much to ask.

Your dark eyes
Absorb everything.
How do you not see?

Why?
Why won't you let me
Welcome you?

Just look my way.
Just once.
Maybe twice.

You'll see.
You belong over here.
Next to me.

Hello.
Look, over here,
At me.

I like to believe you're staring
Right at me
When I'm not looking.

I like to pretend
That I can feel your eyes on me
Carefully watching my movements.

I like to think
That you look at me
The way I look at you.

I like to take comfort
In the hope
That you might feel the same.

This is how I go on.
I pretend.
I play make believe.

All of my actions
Are planned out
To be something you would appreciate.

Even if you dont notice,
I make myself be
Someone whom you would like.

I make myself
Be a person
That everyone thinks is loving.

I know you all too well
So I know
What kind of people you admire.

My whole life
Revolves around trying to please you.
Even though you don't take notice.

It doesn't make me mad
That I live off of you
Because it makes me better.

I be the best me
I can be
When I'm trying to make you notice me.

So thank you
For being a good person
That I have to out-do with kindness.

I like to believe
That you watch me.
Because that is how I continue.

It creeps up on you,
quiet and still,
sits by your side in the dark,
strokes your hair as you sleep.

It wraps itself around your bones,
squeezing so tight you almost can’t breathe.
It leaves lies in your heart,
lies next to you at night,
leaches the light out from every corner.

It’s a constant companion,
clasping your hand
only to yank you down
when you’re struggling to stand up.

You wake up in the morning
and wonder
who you are.
You fail to fall asleep at night
and tremble in your skin.

You doubt
you doubt
you doubt
do I
don’t I
should I
why won’t I

And even when you’re ready to let go.
When you’re ready to break free.
When you’re ready to be brand-new.
Loneliness is an old friend
standing beside you in the mirror,
looking you in the eye,
challenging you to live your life without it.

You can’t find the words to fight yourself,
to fight the words screaming
that you’re not enough
never enough
never ever enough.

Loneliness is a bitter,
wretched companion.
Sometimes it just won’t let go.

Unravel Me.