seeping, sapping
my body at last awakens
contorting, cramping
the moon fills me with life
old life, new life
brought upon my very being
delicate, debilitating
my body is a fighting flower

it reeks of judgment, 
glistens with pride
producing the essence of power
it isn't some full moon curse
it's a beautiful magic

your face is still scrunched up with angst
"she put my arm about her waist,
and made her smooth white shoulder bare"
i want you
i want you
i want you
"give herself to me for ever,
but passion sometimes would prevail"
it's getting slightly awkward
we've made 3 sketchy glances now
oh, that makes 4
you know
i know
"happy and proud, at last i knew
Porphyria worshipped me"
you know
"that moment she was mine, mine, fair,
perfectly pure and good"
starts to sink in
"i am quite sure she felt no pain"
guilt starts pumping itself through your veins,
coursing through your body with such force
you can't hide it
"now why did he **** her?"
"he must have loved her too madly."
always love
with that you look directly at me
as i choke down some water to keep myself from throwing myself in your tempting arms that are "like home"
ready to have my yellow hair wrapped
3 times
around my little throat
going limp
forever wrapped in your disgusting guilt

eleven:fifty 
the quick turnarounds are cute 
tangible tension 

the thrill of the rush
jawbone shadows killing me
take off your flannel

i like when you're mad
i like it when you hate me
i like when you stare

smooth brush, quiet gasp
*** burns going down your throat
but makes you like me

laying in my bed it's 4:27 
in the morning
my window is propped open washing me with waves of heat and sound
the birds chirping, don't they know the time?
i feel itchy all over i think i'm covered in bugs
how ridiculous it is yet in the morning my skin is raw and scabbed
battle wounds
i begin to drift off at last, allowing myself to slip into sweet nothingness
nothingness indeed
i'm floating between realities; the reality in which i'm itchy with bloodshot eyes and the reality with you
just as i finally reach my sanctuary my paradise my peace, 
just as your hand is practically tangibly intertwined with mine,
the birds are no longer chirping
screaming
they are screaming and rip me from you
mental whiplash
and though i curse them for sending you away
i know i must thank them for saving me the exquisitely delicate pain of the unrequited passion i would be welcomed by
come dawn

mary mary
excavate the soil
bury the roots
quite contrary 
the ground feels violated 
(as do i)
with silver bells
they penetrate invasively 
with no regard or remorse
and cockle shells
the soil recoils
let's the being consume
and so my garden grows

open the door
come out some more
you're too much a bore
just sit on your floor

the grimy-*** woodwork
washed out with splinters
the ***** **** carpet
your social skills hindered

i'm sorry that i couldn't be happy
i'm sorry my life was so ******
i'm sorry i became so sappy
i'm sorry my text posts got so yappy

so write your last words down on my arm
i'll try to choke down my talk of harm
we'll forget this partnership ever took place
the echoes and traces gone of my face

hello old drama
i'll see you tomorrow
there will be no contact
just second-hand feedback

together we could dive into
each others ****** up souls but you
got scared or maybe i don't know
for some reason you just had to go

all that remains is lost intentions
and i will still cringe when your name she mentions
the pages are torn and you took them with you
i'll drift away with nothing, not a clue

my palms are clammy
the car isn't starting
sit on the side of
the highway, eyes darting

guess there won't be more downtime
i can learn  to look on the bright side
you saved me a **** ton of gas money
so i'll just leave and say "thanks, honey"

a milkshake on a smoldering day
marlboro reds in hand
linking arms to hold me up;
help me in your van.

you don’t yell when i crank the tunes
or spill stuff on the floor.
too many selfies taken, still
you let me take some more.

it starts to get real frosty out;
sweaters and quick smokes.
it’s not too bad staying in now,
hiding from our folks.

i’m not quite certain what went down
or if you even knew,
but i came home and
the only thing different was you.

**** happened again, but now, this time
i knew what to expect:
our bridge burned out; you’re
gone; ashes and i are all that’s left.