For Helene.


Ashes on the water, now.
Love's bones like dust downstream.  
At least it got to see itself in our eyes,
Feel itself between hand holding hand

And whispered caresses.
From pillow talk to fists raised at
Concerts, glasses of Portuguese wine
On her balcony to the sound of magpies

We named our neighbours.
We were beautiful.
Began beautifully.
Ended gracefully.

I open hands that held hers and see
Nothing but skin worn by labour,
And air.
Ashes on the water, now.

Embers without a chance against rivers  
Cold with melted mountain snow and
Unyielding differences.
Some loves drown with lungs too full

To cry; others float like a funeral-pyre-
Longboat into the night, ablaze.
King and queen, hand upon hand.
Crowns tied from fresh flowers,

We were beautiful.
Began beautifully.
Slid apart the way a glacier parts from
The hills; slowly, but with the force

Of its thousands of tons.
Ashes on the water,
Where the ghost of our union rests
Underneath the surface of our memories.

I will remember you.
Until the stars burn out, raining the
Dust of themselves like snow upon
These waters that always are moving.

my knees have cuts and bruises from all the times i fell. i wonder if you knew what you were doing every time you pushed me over the edge.

i know you cant see them.
i forgive you.

for all the times you were reckless with my love when i planted it everywhere on your route home like pennies on the sidewalk.
i forgive you.

for using harsh words at night across the dinner tables like your knife wasnt sharp enough.
i forgive you.

for the chills i got at 3am when you turned your back on me.
i forgive you.

for all the blemishes you pointed out
because now that you're gone i love myself more than i ever have

but if you ever asked for it
i'll place my fingerprints over all the parts of you that you've found distasteful in hopes that your knobby knees never bruise your chin from days when you've reverted into yourself

Darling how could I ever break your heart

when I can't stop breaking my own?