i know that there is no real way to tell, who you talk to, or what you say to them, and there is no real way to tell exactly how you feel about me, and there never will be.... im not sure how to feel right now, there is so much in my mind.... cramped up in the corner of my head, wanting to explode!
im lost and im misguided.. i feel unsafe and threatened.... and the only thing keeping me from getting lost in the dark abis of feelings, is you.

you are my rock, my mainstay, my everything. i know.... none of this will mean a thing when you move on from me, but i hope the least that will happen is you will always look back and say "she really did love me"
even better, i hope you never have to look back at what is written on the internet because that will always be the same, i hope that you will be able to look me in the eyes and say,
"i love you too."
i hope that one day when you miss me, you will be able to call me and tell me. better yet i hope that one day you will just be able to walk in the door and tell me crazy stories about how your day went. even if none of my dreams come true.... i hope that ill always have you <3

time.
it flies by like a bird.
quiet.

I sat outside today,
at the top of the hill in the back
With nobody around I sat there,
and I breathed,
so clear and easy
I felt no restraint,
nothing could go wrong.
The sun was high above me,
the air wasn't thick or heavy,
it was soothing.

I lived today, and finally....
I realized what is really worth fighting for.
tomorrow.

justin; i know you might not read this;
but your faith is my bliss !?
youre what i miss....
(friendship wise)
a relationship wasted our time;
so please just admit
i never meant ****
you took me in
thinking you could fool me;
but i wish you could have told me
you made me smolder
when i wish you just let me burn;
but what can i do now
that lesson's learned
and never again will i say those words
to you;
but you say them
to her..

im being torn apart,
im falling for this boy,
he knows he has my heart,
but to him its just a toy.
he drops me off the book shelf,
and leaves me on the floor,
because the day he said goodbye,
i lost what i adored.
his soft lips,
pressed against mine,
i felt some sort of safety,
but no sense of mind.
because you were only waiting,
until i fell apart,
you simply walked away,
without a sense of heart.

i write now,
not for you,
nor myself..
i write for trust,
i write of lust,
i hear my breath fall..
i fill my head,
with the thought of you,
without regret..
youre something new..
i write with out correction,
without punctuation..
because the love we share needs no correction,
and i trust you dont need to punctuate our love..
i love you,
please know that..
were perfect..
dont forget that..

ive been gone so long;
these people and their words,
they seem like strangers at least,
soaking into my mind.

these perfectly laid words,
fallen upon my screen,
make me start to wonder,
why can't that write be me?

amazing people's thoughts..
stuck on electronic sheets,
try taking a pen and paper,
its not as easy as it seems.

and until the summer comes again,
you my dear are my only friend.
until i fall upon the clock,
time spins slowly..
tick
              tock

they spent every day together since the day they met
but nobody thought that they would end up being so different in the end....
she loved him more than anything
but to him she was just his best friend;
his other half.
there was no hiding that they would tell each other how they felt
but there was no way to take back how she felt..

everything changes.

I remember your voice.
the slow, steady breath
you took between each sentence.

I remember the way you stood.
at a shoulder width stance
yet so relaxed and calm.

I remember the your eyes.
how they lit up in the darkness
and led me stray when closed.

I remember the things you said.
you loved me.
you needed me.
then things changed,
I hated you. I wanted you gone.
now I realize...
I remember

there is this note i hold so close.. the last one that you passed.. the one that you told me all your feelings.. the one that you told me you messed up.. the one that you mentioned over and over again that you loved me but then i realized it was false hope.... the one that said you would do anything to have me back.. well im over you, you are my past.. i hate that you could simply move on so **** fast.. you make me sick beyond belief.. did you think that you could call me yours and the throw me away? who do you think you are, youre not the guy i fellin love with and youre not the one that i always wanted, and youre not the one who made me laugh when i had nothing left.. but you ....
i thought that you really ment every word you came to say.. but come to find out you were the one guy that tells every girl they are your forever, and that you love them and only them.. every single girl you meet is your babie girl and everytime you sent a random text it was for another girl and not me. i hate you so ******* much i want to dance upon your grave, i hate you more than every tear i cried for you, and i regret you more than anything.. i hate myself for loving you! and i hope you feel the same way to.

If only you knew....
The leaves stopped falling,
The birds stopped singing,
The clouds never left after you did.

You took everything with you,
The sunshine,
The memories,
The heartbreaks....

You slowly turned,
From a friend,
To best friend,
To boy friend..
To nothing.

It hurt to see you go,
You were the only thing I had left.
You left me there....
Cold and scarred.

I forgave you so many times..
But none of those "I'm sorry"s
Meant a thing to you.
It was just another word.

I wish you were able to grow on me,
As I did on you.

I wish you regretes the day you left,
As much as I wished you to.

is it true that how i act is completely different then how i feel?

now take one step back.

if you never met me before, would you take the time to get to know me?

or would you walk by thinking that im the same as everybody else....

if you only knew my name and what i looked like; would you try to say you know who i am?

or would you be truthful and say you know my name, not my story....

Where does that leave me,
Disowned, unwelcome.

Do the words that I said even ring a bell?
Do you remember crossing my path,
Let's stop one second, do this math.

If I were you, and you were me,
where would we even be?
I took you down this street before,
lost.
we knocked on every single door.
knock.

"hello my dear" that woman said, with a gleam in her eyes,
"who could it be you're looking for?"
"come on child, aren't you sure?"
I replied a simple name, Bill....
She crossed her arms and glared at me,
he passed away,
cancer
it made him weak....

I backed away, and shook my head,
thought out loud,
"he cant be dead,
this just cant be,
bill was my world,
so where does that leave me.... ?"

where would you be if there was no us?
no me....?
would you be the same you that i fell in love with?
would you still look at me when we passed in the hallway?
or would you turn away and pretend that im not there?

would you be where you are now with out me? ....

that smile that you planted into my mind,
its driving me crazy,
im starting to unwind..
the way you kissed my cheek when you wanted my attention,
the way i fell the need to remember your name is one i can not mention..
i thought i had it all,
when you were in my arms,
but i guess i was fooled,
cause that was one of your charms..
we always said i love you,
but neither of us even knew what love was..
for all we knew,
love was hanging out on the weekends and being snuggle buddies..
the fact that kisses just came so easily.. where did that go, we lost everything..
and we didnt even realize it till it was gone..

no birds fly about the sky;
all the flowers start to die.
the frost grows upon the ground;
snowflakes fall upon my crown.
take the power in my hand;
peer my eyes upon great land.
covered in a white blanket;
wondering if our love can make it.
this winter grows on me;
telling me to become the cold.
i fall for the trick;
i grew like ice;
so **** thick..

Wish me luck,
I dearly need it,
with out you,
my fire remains,
unlit
On every single
shooting star,
wish me luck,
and wish me far.
done
Until I find my
desired place,
Help place a smile
upon my face.
Because,
with out luck,
I will not follow,
and in my sorrow,
I will fall.

you spit out your words like when dragons breathe fire.
you know that you aren't cool so why does it matter?
you act like you know more than my name....
but if you knew me, we wouldn't be the same.

you pretend that i care,
and i act like i don't.
you say that i will,
i say that i wont.

i know that i say things,
but so do all of you,
you dont understand that words have meanings,
much bigger than you think they do,
they may come out so easily,
but time after time,
day after day,
words break you down,
you feel like you are trapped and nothing can save you,
you feel like youre short of breath as the reality of this collapses around you,
afraid,
hurt,
tear stained cheeks that wont go away,
you are officially scared,
sorry cant cover things up,
you cannot tell any body that you meant different,
so speak what you mean,
and what you wish for people to hear..
but keep in mind,
as soon as you let the words leave your mouth,
they have a consequence,
and the outcome is out of your hands.

a smile, an expression....
simply amazing....
so unique; in its own way....
shy, but so bold.
speaks a thousand words.

a kiss, an emotion....
gentle, kind, caring....
closer and closer....
soft and certain.
my lips on yours.

I know that was our last,
The once upon a time,
The happily ever after,
But I never believed in
Love at first sight....
You just got lucky.

he is but a stranger,
with words of the wise.

i'd ask his name,
but he might lie.

he is a brave heart,
true to his poems.

but always a stranger,
in which i know.

if you didn't want to do it then why would you?
to break me down,
to see me fall?
you knew i loved you after all.... /:

you heard my breath leave my lungs,
and yet when i hurt, you found it fun?

you broke me down about twelve times,
but never have i been so fed up with lies....

a simple phrase, like i love you,
i've heard it before, it's nothing new]:

now you regret what you have said,
think to why it ran through your head..
would you like to lie to me?
unlock my heart.. you have the key..

and now you say you wouldn't do what you did..
and i laugh at you, stupid kid </3