I’m interested in the way your mind is locked. I see no chain. There are no keys. Your simple steadfast determination to be deaf and blind is holding the door shut in its hands. It is never off-guard. Your mind-beast is strange. It doesn't have eyelids. Nor lips or a tongue. It doesn’t breathe or have heartbeat. [It is made of wood. Deep roots like veins bind it where it stands. It’s grown into the door. It is the door. The beast is the door and it refuses to open. The beast is the door and it’s killing your mind; one dead thought one dead dream at a time.]

Open my eyes,
Cover my ears,
The berating buzz of the alarm sounds.
Catch hold of my breath
As my soul disappears,
Relentless and futile my heart pounds.

Attack me or choose me,
Love me, abuse me,
Lie, cheat, love –
“Sorry.”
Sorry.
Bruise me.
I just gave up on being strong.

Today is a copy of the humdrum preceding.
Tomorrow the stubborn replay still holds
This worthless,
Pointless
Life with no meaning.
Alone in the silence,
The secret untold.

I dare you all to shake me up,
To break me,
To shatter,
To stab me,
To blame.
The effort won’t breach this wall I’ve built,
The three new cravings,
The mask I now feign.

Fifth of *****,
Full bottle of pills,
Painkillers left would surely fulfill
A desire to feel,
A need to forget,
A wish to lose who I am,
Or will it?

A knife in the drawer.
A glistening blade
I long to drag across my beige, freckled skin,
Deep into my unfeeling flesh,
A thrilling pain,
Patience worn thin.

I finally gave up on being strong,
But I know myself all too well.
I care so much,
I hope so much,
I love so much,
So **** it to hell.

Now the first thing that I shall seek?
I’m giving up on being weak.