We all know you've
tried your
hardest.

But honestly, you could do better.

The only hard you've ever
really known is
down there in your
$300
pants.

You're just pounding and pounding,
trying to get to the top.

The top of what?

The world is round, you
idiot.

Who is responsible
for the sparks in your eyes
tonight, on the balcony,
leaning over the edge
to touch the blazing lights
of the troubled city below?

You're not wearing your cloak this time.
"You noticed?"
I did.

And when we read together
in bed on rainy mornings,
your accent is flawless,
while mine stutters and stumbles,
flattens the romance.

It's funny: I've lived in Paris;
you've never been, not once.

Yesterday, I knew you
inside and out, like the
backs of my blistered hands.

Today, we are strangers,
somehow.

oh murderous morning
razorsharp sunbeams
illuminating the dusted air
why would i want them made visible
these things that smother me?

birdcalls like sirens
wailing waxing waning
an endless cycle and the fire
is breathing the stale air.

shirt half off eyes half open
pounding visions to let fade
from behind the lids
we both knew i'd forget.

i always do.

my idol led me to his office
and shut the door behind us:
first glance, piles of paper, not unusual
but then, the glasses atop a teetering stack(!)
so i raised an eyebrow
and he grinned
it was a dare
put them on he said without speaking
so i did.
hesitantly, yes, but i did.

XRAY VISION i cried
shh he said with a finger to my lips
it's my secret and you can't let anyone know
of course not i said
then i shook my head in wonder
so this is how it's done
this is how you know
how you strip them down
they are naked and trembling
you poke and **** to find
the weak spots and then
you offer them to the world:
a subhuman sacrifice.

this turns me on i said
can we? please?
put them on
what do you see?
if i'm already bare
and willingly exposed
can you still pick me apart?
i sacrifice myself, does that
make you blind?

key twists in lock: the door, my
full-to-the-brim heart
swings eagerly open.

you conquer the gaping
space between us in a
single swift step, arms
open and trembling.

we twine together in
a silence thick with love
and collapse into a dream
of petals and dewdrops.

morning comes softly, glides
on a breeze so as to not
break the shimmering spell
of the night's glories.

i lift sunkissed lids to
beam upon your own
radiant face.

in these moments i know i am truly breathing.

Why does the world see me this way?
My insides on the outside and nothing hidden at all,
when I am only flesh and bone and a map of veins?

Blood flows through me;
chilled at the core but sizzling in my fingertips.
What I touch will char, yet I cannot thaw myself.

Clearly, this is self-reliance.
I wake only to dream of sleeping again,
and breathe only to shut off my wandering thoughts.

My mother taught me to loathe the bitterness
that she herself pushed upon me throughout the years.
I will never forgive her for that.

But Lord (who?)  knows I've come this far.
I refuse to be silenced; it is my turn to speak.
Smother me with your glistening teeth: I will march on.

night night
you are the devil
unmasked
a black fire of
sorrow too great
for one to hold
night night
go **** yourself
spawn little nightchildren
that grow from the moon
and constantly swear
you are up to no good
night night
the stars are your ******
the brighter the better
you ***** them all in turn
spreading hundreds
of thousands across your
doom pit crackle sky.