Ill just be here smoking my cigarette like i always do, youre right there next to me, already smoked two.

Lighting one after another till they burn out flilling our lungs with waste.

Soon you'll finish your cigarettes and you'll leave like you always do.

Slowly burning until you have finished your daily pack.



Our love was like these cigarettes.

Burning to waste until youve finished your daily dosage of me.

Soon you'll get up and leave, but whats to worry?

You have another carton to waste.

tonight there's a fire in texas
& it's screaming out for the all the bodies it's lost there
in some grand american war
in someone else's glorious battle

the backyard tree was too high for you to climb
& so you took a jaunt to the brooklyn bridge and jumped
to see what it was like to fly

& tonight there's a fire in her chest that bleeds
for her father's bones to be buried next to hers
even though for years he didn't know her name
or what her laugh sounded like
i guess he forgot to check the post

& tonight there's a broadcast on the radio
the presidents been assassinated
& somehow that's your fault
for being to open about your love for your best friend, tom
who also happens to be a boy

& tomorrow there'll be an earthquake in memphis
& it'll be because there's too much *** on tv
god must be flapping his wings hard enough to shake
our great and grand scheme of things

& yesterday a little girl lay awake in her bed
counting her ribcage to make sure she can see every bone
she's praying she won't lose track of them under the meat

& tonight i will drink a tall glass of wine
so i can feel something
other than all the pain we've created for each other

Staying up later than anyone else
means you get to eat whatever, and however you want,
it means you can think however you want,
you can do whatever you want,
you can literally be whoever you want to be when you stay up late,
because nobody can stop the way you position yourself in life late at night.

his life was admirable.
you could tell what he wanted in life and what he wanted was so bold he couldn't quite reach it,
just as he could not reach the top shelf at the age of 6 years old.

at 6 years old he was adventurous and curious.
realizing that he could climb on his kitchen counter and take whatever he needed from the top shelf which he would do as he pleased.



at 17 years old he reached for my heart on the top shelf.
at 17 years old he climbed on the counter of my soul and took my heart.
which he did as he pleased.


at 17 years old i left my heart on the bottom shelf in reach.
so easily taken and put back but always missing something when returned.



at 17 years old my heart was left on his top shelf.



at 17 years old my heart was left to be stabbed by the other hearts which were taken and returned in time.


at 17 years old, my kitchen was empty.

in the grand scheme of things,
it doesn't come down to how long you have loved someone,
it comes down to who waited to be loved in return.

ive loved you since forever,
and forever ever since.