I'm nineteen years old, forced to act like an adult. Choose your friends or me,he says, but why?Why can't i have both?He gets the best of both worlds,Why not I?I'll move anywhere for you, leave everything i've ever known behind.mine entire security blanket;outside of you. I don't understand him, Am i waiting patiently for a good reason. Or am i wasting my precious time, tomorrow could never come. Should i sit back and chill, or am i missing the thrill?

my mind is going crazy,can't stop thinking.words, phrases, sentences, thoughts, running threw my head. can't stop, my mind won't stop, life *****, work *****, bills ****. only stable thing is my life is crumbling,my empire wrecked. trains colliding, airplanes crashing, how do i stop this, how? it hurts, literally having chest pains, mind racing, heart beat pulsing, most excruciating pain imaginable to mankind...heartbreak.wheres my parachute?i'm falling.

the pieces are disconnecting, the house not under control. people showin' up unannounced, not wanting to leave. what do i do?become the bully?kick them out, give them the cold shoulder?i'm not losing the life i have, for some kid looking to get high...get you **** and go, there's the door. this is now drive thru thuggin', no more chillin'.need to get focused, need to concentrate, i'm fallin' apart, used to be on tap,now i need help. my minds always on money, ten steps ahead.now i'm falling ten behind, for letting a stranger in. the boss man's mad,mad as can be. I'VE LOST FOCUS,but i have hope cause, he still hasn't given up on me....focus...concentrate...get back.