I close my eyes
the drums are beating loud
one after another
rhythmic
it's bright in here
my eyes fill themselves with water
and decide to glare down the lights
you've got me on a leash
I'm back and I'm forth
the streets are never ending
the sidewalks are all crooked
I am the crack you just stepped on
why do you keep stomping on me?
for a moment I think I can see the intersection
the end.
but I'm wrong, just like always
the buildings are tall, so tall that I can
barely see the sky when I'm not in motion
maybe that's why I never learnt to stand still
the sun never comes up here
but the moon is bright enough for the both of them
It took me a long time to realize that's what you
meant when you said I was your moon
houses are aligned side by side
with only a foot between them
right and then left, I tell myself, right and then left
I'm not here right now, I don't believe it
I get so caught up in this place I forget what
I'm trying to do and that scares me
the sky tells me something but I refuse to believe it
mostly because there are no stars here
the clouds are gathered as far away from me as possible,
almost as if they have a secret but who doesn't nowadays
no one is clean but yet everyone
is yelling at me for being *****
I am screaming but everyone just
continues to march in a single file line
they can't hear me in here
I open my eyes

i think too much and i don’t sleep enough i don’t want this to be organized i don’t want there to be correct punctuation i want to stop editing for a few minutes or maybe a few months so i can write what i’m actually thinking everything i say is masked by something else i can never get what i’m really feeling down i cannot always grasp how empty i feel into words and i cannot always force chills to take over your body by talking about her sometimes the only thing that’s going to come from my mouth is the muffled sounds of my crying and sometimes the only thing that my hands will be able to make is the sound of the door slamming i don’t think anyone realizes how hard these things hit me i don’t think you get the extremities of my words this doesn’t feel ok and neither does you saying i'm good with my words in that tone of voice as if i am manipulating you by simply speaking but it isn’t necessarily rewarding that someone is clapping as my heart is breaking on these pages it isn’t exactly fair that one day people will dance along the highway to every insecurity I feel
sometimes I want this to break your heart i’m incapable of slowly stuttering out my feelings i scream them at you i force these words out of me with no problem at all and i'm sick of it because now you know way too much