I woke up this morning,
Not being able to do anything,
Theres nothing i can do except ... ...
... ... die each day.
This wasnt the way i wanted to be,
Not a life i wanted see,
Bug other people had plans for me .. ..
.. and i live and die each day ..
.. .. .. .. .. I wonder to myself,
Why no help arrived ?
..... It feels like the plan was to see me die,
A long time ago .. .. ..
.. .. .. .. .. this has been a long, long, road ..
.. .. .. and i live and die each day.
Help never came,
Help never will,
Not in this place,
This place of eternal hell,
And i live and die each day .. .. ..
.. .. .. what will come of this ?
I think to myself,
With Years of struggles ahead.
.. .. .. .. .. Ill be dead and gone,
No one will mourn my dearh ..
.. .. .. .. .. I cannot rest,
Yet,
I live and die each day.
.. .. .. .. ..
One day theyll see,
And if there's a God,
An eternity of regret,
Should be to fall on them,
Wicked men,
Wicked men.
.. .. .. and i live and die each day.
Justice is coming faster than before,
And all these doors that closed on me .. ..
.. .. .. .. .. will open again,
You wait and see,
This place will remember me,
And through the haze of my yesterday's,
Ill find a better place,
A place of recovery,
A better place to .. .. simply be .. ..
.. .. and ill live and die each day.
.. .. .. .. .. there's no apathy or love left for me,
But the world will see,
The world will see.
.. .. .. ..
.. .. .. ..
I live and die each day.

Any easy feeling falls over me,
As the realities of the next few months, years perhaps,
Culminate,
So ive relaxed .  ..
.. .. .. solitary,
Can be hard,
But .. it what it is,
And I guess Im .. .. ..
Lucky ..
..
I dont owe anyone a thing,
Except my family,
Banks,
Credit facilities ... ...
But that's all it is,
Eventually ... I'll be able to leave,
Find a safe place for family .. or .. just .. me ?
.. .. ..
Death doesn't phase me,
And i would have been more than happy to D.I.E..
.. .. .. .. but I realised,
It shouldn't be me,
.. .. I shouldn't pay,
For others choices made,
And they made a choice,
A long time ago,
To force me to show ... ...
.. .. the possibilities ..
.. .. .. for humans like me,
If they live in a place that .. .. .. doesn't need destructive tendencies.. ..
.. .. .. .. this place doesn't exit for me,
.. .. .. sometimes .. I wish it did .. .. ..
.. but I doubt it ever will,
.. .. .. .. I cant do more than take pills,
And be at the whim of evil people .. .. .. that will never let me heal .. .. or be more than ..
.. .. .. on government payment,
All because their time spent,
Was to make sure the  reality .. .. ..
.. .. .. was to destroy everything good in me.
.. ..
..
.
.

Things fall apart,
Past can catch up on you,
The world is crewl and cold,
Betrayal under toe,
Relentless days,
Living in the frey,
Waiting to long to play,
Loosing all my sanity,
Sunsets over rooftops,
Insanity overflow.
Drunk on old fashioned,
Days of clinks and chasers,
To an end,
Cold coffee and long walks,
To talk to strangers,
Umongst the dangers of this bitter world.
I'm in the corner,
Waiting for the answer,
Laying on the ropes,
Each time I talk I choke,
Give me the rope,
A noose to hang,
End life with a bang,
The shenanigans all but faltered,
Forgotten left to writhe,
Through the bitter lies,
And crying eyes,
Light shines through.
I want to let you know,
I did it all for you.

The morning roll around again,
I wake and pick up my pen,
A shoddow lingers,
Remember how it began,
How many days,
To pick up my pen.
Countless hours,
Wading deep,
I prayed the Lord,
My soul to keep,
Each morning waking,
Is sometimes hard,
Working towards that light,
I think each morning,
When I wake,
How long can I keep the fight.
Living with depression,
Is a struggle through my days,
The doctors come to fight me,
Take what's left,
And on their way.
Its something more than sadness,
It holds and it consumes,
No one here to save me,
I feel I won't be living soon.
It has its hands around me,
Pulling me right down,
Most days I think that I should swim,
I end up drowned