I left you there:
somewhere between night and day
between certainty and loneliness

We danced the story that was written long before we met:
I winked
                     you smiled
I spoke
                     you laughed
you spoke
                      I listened

and where I left you
                                  my heart stayed
                  It was yours from that first bashful gaze


I stood there in that odd hour
feeling for a fiery glow I had held with unerring adoration...
I knew naught where I had misplaced it

As I patted each of my pockets for that missing warmth
I recalled all the places I could have left it:

Between the conversations
                where our gaze held secrets no words could contain?

In the dark speckles
                that shined like jewels in your hazel spheres?

Between your thighs
               where you impatiently placed my hand?

Maybe between our lips
               where warm embraces enveloped more
                          than our shared breath?

Could your sweet caress
              have secreted away my cagebird heart
                          without me noticing?

Or perhaps while we tumbled in our bed...
               was it left between the sheets?
                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                       ...no...
It matters little where it has been lost....
                                                        ­      it is no longer mine to hold

And all these blossoming memories
pang and freeze
under this morning chill

I stand in the twilight of dawn
paralyzed without desire
to direct my feet...

My foggy breath reminds me of the cold vacancy overwhelming

As a rising frustration with my carelessness
quickens my bellows breath
the fog thickens with unnatural urgency

Is it this gray blanket enveloping me in cold
or was that glowing ruby keeping me warm?  

Even my fury does nothing to warm my blood
it is cold compared to the radiance I felt.

I shut my eyes and cover my face with clenched empty hands
as my mind rages a primal cacophony of confusion...

Without warning
a silvery beam cuts through the fog
piercing my mind

Quite suddenly
                               ... I am free

In this suffering morn
a smile returns just as sky begins to glow
bringing light and gentle surrender
to my worried brow

As clear as that beam
a soothing thought wipes clean my silly tragedy
as I remember Loves most unique personality:

She comes with an ebbing mirth and surreal comfort
as if to conceal a fragile ember sparked.

It rises almost imperceptibly
in the periphery of moments
shared with loved ones:

Affection and attention are its fuel

In our warm farewells we cease the stoking of that flame
and what follows is instant loss...

Like a fool I have searched in desperation for what rests in the palm of my hand. My beating heart remains and it is has never left

It is your radiant smile
your beautiful heart
the gifts we shared freely
and your gentle adoration
that had lit my soul aflame

Without you near to shine marvels on my life
the sobering reality feels cold and painfully solid

All these memories that sweep over me and overwhelm
are guiding me back to Love

To your warm hands
                  To your passionate breath
                             And our nurturing embrace.

"I will see you soon, my love..."
whispers from
every corner of my mind
                                
                           ­    ...and I am free

My worries vanish as the tear falls from my cheek
and the sun greets me with a new day

A perfect storm comes to greet me
With its arms outstretched wider than I can see.
I meet it gladly as I stare a-bow,
I need not look away as it envelopes me.

I am ready now.

I am happy and at ease with my weathered sail,
And all my efforts have braced me for this coming gale.

Be it by Orion's sword or Poseidon's breath,
Be it by my own frailty or faculty,
I am doomed to perish.
Death cares little for my time,
He will come when he does wish.

Why not meet him with this dervish?

Jubilation rings to the sound of its own drum
while glistening on its vibrant accolades
the fool prances on a pile of bones
with a rhythmic crunch.

The dilapidated ideas crumble off old hegemonies
as he dances slack-jawed whimsy to a world collapsing
behind his eyes.

His gaze is an arid wasteland
where the only sound is the dusty wind
and the only smell is that of gray clay.

His dry ****** lips are as brittle as crackling paint
that decay and abandon have flecked off with a breeze.

And his dullard smile exposes sharp teeth...
                                                        the only bit of clean left in him.

when you see him...
                             this vacant thing...
your wet tears remind you of your own existence
in comparison to this misery
slumping by.

The glorious death he witnesses is his to bear.
What you cannot bear to witness
is but the side effect of his metamorphosis:

                         A sorry
                         and temporary state
                         of depravity
                         that lingers on your tongue
                         and holds you down
                         in your lofty leisure.

I would not trade a crooked nail to experience this man's perturbation.
Alas,
I know life has a funny way of whispering mysteries yet to come.

Verve and Excitement
embellish the curves on her body,

while the undulations of her breath create
a dynamic dance
of shadow and light.

Without the sorrow of the world
heavy in her mind,
she is filled with the passion
and fire that burns in her compressed shell.

Her infinity boldly requiring her finite body
to express
                    fully
                             the great ineffable
                     she  feels trapped inside her heart.

The deep fire that burns in exploration of those dark corners
                                extinguishes all memories
                                         all responsibilities
                                          in a single breath.
                           Presence and lustful Observation
                                         are all that remain...

I desire for this moment to be all moments.
To be so full
   NOW
that I have no room for my yesterdays or tomorrows.

To walk all my days
                               with trust
                   that each one is held in the light of radiance
                                               and ends in a sweet sun-kissed goodbye.


In darkness, I will close my eyes.

All that remains,
               is to marvel in glorious surrender
                                       at every passing phenomena.

Let me meet you in a marbled
                                                 field of
                                                           sand...
                                      
                                                               Though
you bewitch me with clifftops hooded in emerald grass ...
                                                 Though
your sheep bleat loudly the marvel of your serenity...
                                   Though
you wait patiently beyond your lonely precipice,

             I cannot endure the eons
                                         raging against the cliffs of your security.

Every
passing year, the thunder of my broken waves
gouges deeper into your wounded coastline.
Every
rock torn from your embrace, resounds the pain of our growing rift
Every
crumbling cliffs edge dissolves the beauty I held in reverie...

                      I wound us in this way.


Let me meet you in a secluded
                                                     gentle
                                                          ­      cove...

There,
    upon quieted sands, my waves will softly stroke your skin.
There,
    the lions will laugh in cacophonous delight at our simple joy.
There,
    our worlds will dance as pebbles tumble into diamond crystals.

There, a child will listen woefully,
                                 the sea song of our love.

With eyes in contented darkness,
         With a soul filled, overflowing
                     With the power of bearing witness
                                                         ­      to this daily wonder.

Each
     breath brings her deeper into the burning core of her mind,
Each
     thought sparks the flame brighter
Each
     billowing blaze will enliven her roots, and
                                                             ­                     she will bloom.
    
      Then,
her eyes will open to a shimmering world,
glistening through tears of quiet understanding.
                     Then,
breath will guide the salt of our dance into her veins
                                  Then,
         she will dance to the song of our world.

With arms wide as eyes,
               she will embrace
                      this treasured moment  
                                 With the divinity of her mortality.

When the moment calms, she will walk solemnly through our shallows.
When my waves pull home at her ankles,
When the crystalline pebble shines brightly in her visage

she will reach with focused surrender through my water for a memento
of the love she feels so presently.

In our slow dance,
of Land and Sea,
               our love bears its fruits in tiny treasures.
In her little pocket,
                             the diamond of our love
will travel further into your heart than my waves ever could.

In this way...
                  you and I grow fonder
                                                             with every passing day.

My sorrow is like a lily of the valley,
In its wintry blossoming I am grateful
for the supple beauty that hides within a cold abysmal setting,
and for the lessons that are bountiful and mysterious.

As it dies (as do all things)
I must give it quiet space to decompose into the ground of my being.

May the fruits of spring grow from its fertile soil...

May I watch in wonder as my vessel transforms
from its withering inward gaze
into a source of radiance which manifests
in the season of abundant light.

May the lessons observed,
guide me as life yields a new chapter
with its own complexity and emotion.

May my knowledge grow to meet these complexities
with wisdom and a deeper capacity to find joy.

May the mysteries of this constructed web
unravel to allow for the beauty of each moment
to shine brilliantly in my orb of sight sound and sensation.

May the spring come with joy, and may it leave kindly
so that I may yet again reside in my wintry repose

To those of us that remember what it means to walk this world
                           One deep breath at a time.
I honor your commitment to observing life as it is.
May each nourishing breath bring you more fully
Into the mystery and wonder of a world forgotten.

A shining world of now.
            A delicate world of beauty.
                         A dynamic world that dances
Within your being and without
                To the organic drum of your heartbeat.

A beat that will continue after your last breath is drawn.