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Ilia Talalai Feb 2014
What does your sorrow mean
when every woe is a divine celebration
of the great entirety of the story of "you"
                             ?

when every teardrop falls heavy
by the weight of your compassion.

when every tumultuous flaw you feel
within your being
is the greatest gift
you will
             or have
                      ever received.

and when every sacrifice was given freely
to the love you feel...
                                                     ...so wondrously
                               ...for life...
Ilia Talalai Dec 2013
I wish to fly in the spirit of my childish naivety.
To sing-jump-dance in the joyful silence I feel as
I sway to the rhythmic flow of my favorite sunbeam.

But I have already spent my summer days under the sun,
I have soaked up all its warmth
until it could not bear the burden of nourishing me.

winter has come.

And though I deny it,
                                                the child within shivers.
His rattling teeth
                                begging me  
                                                     to take him home.

                    
                          To rest awhile.

To wait the return of that glorious spring.



I am left alone in that empty void he has left.
all my color and mirth gone with his smile in the wind.
I look around, not knowing where to go... all is gray.
I know not how to grow.

like a rose in the snow, I will not grow.
Ilia Talalai Dec 2013
i remember that first night

how desperately you craved
to feel my lips against yours.

how worried you were when i refrained
from surrendering to your deep inhalations.

thoughts of uncertainty clouded your confidence
while your sense of comfort waned and ebbed
as my will held like a cliffside
against the ocean of your lust.

let me calm your worried mind now darling

it was not for lack of desire
that i held my lips pursed.

it was not detachment
that held my hands shy
of a passionate embrace.

i was lost in the shear comfort
of your presence.

your warm hands on my chest
felt as though they had been there
my whole life.

the weight of your leg across my hips,
so familiar that i was left confused by
the brevity of our acquaintance compared
to the depth i could see so clearly
in your glistening eyes.

it was in adoration for this precious moment that
i held myself satiated.

it was this same feeling that held me in fear
that our first kiss would not be the
electric explosion of beginnings
that we would hope to fuel our infatuation,

but that you would feel dissatisfied by the same ease
and placidity i felt.

i kissed you
in that way i felt i had for years and
with that practiced knowing hand
i pulled your lips in close.

they sang a story so old and meaningful
that i found a joy akin to returning home.
...
and since then

every moment shared,
every touch experienced,
every kiss given and
every kiss received
is a small unravelling of a truth that
i had long since forgotten:
that home is where the heart is.
...
and you have mine
Ilia Talalai Dec 2013
They bring happiness in your life when your
ever egocentric world starts to feel small.
(...it is)

With that easy gaze of comfort
they invite you in to enjoy this moment
which has become so dull in your view.
(...it is)

With their warm intent, they wrap you
in blankets of cozy rainy-day fog that
hide the oppressive wall being built
brick by brick
by your own hand.
(...it is)

By their guiding hand, they carry you
through that fog,
back to your wall of all-trouble.

The hazy fog obscures its weighty size
from your fearful eye.  

With that caring look you have come to love
they stir the fire within you
to look carefully,
courageously
at the bricks you have laid down.

They point to the mortar you have used
to help you realize the frailty of a glue
made from little-thought.

With the strength of their body they help
you push down your  monumental
(...it is not)
wall.

In the light of their radiance
you begin to see the beauty in this dull
(...it is not)
moment.

Held in the arms of their eyes
you begin to see how wrong you are
about your small
(...it is not)
world.

In their smile of hearts
you can see the all-joy of living
and wonder how you can ever do enough
for them in this one life you have.
(...it will always be so)
Ilia Talalai Nov 2013
Eyes bewitched by a heart lost

She beckons me with gentle insinuations of a delicate curve here,
                                                           ­                                         
                                                                ­                                a supple one there


A smile that whispers a promise of tender affections,
                                                     ­                         
                                       ­                      a grace that captivates the imagination

The empty cavity beats like a metal detector 

warmer…faster…louder…
as I make timid steps one in front of the other

warmer…faster…louder… 

until the rhythmic tension forces action.

Part lips and utter broken glass over muddled first impressions
………………  
Another clumsy step on the dance floor of my love story
Ilia Talalai Nov 2013
Oh piteous duality of man
A mind that breathes a contented sigh at the beauty it once held
Is a heart that cries a lonely tear soaked in passion that cannot be dispelled

In this moment
I want for nothing but the warmth of her skin under my calloused hand
I burn for her in a cold bed with a heart singed by love’s fiery brand
Ilia Talalai Nov 2013
there is nothing in my head that words can utter
but the heart is crying out with a dying hunger for an attentive ear

in this moment
I let my hand do the talking

shut out the questions,
shut out the confusion,
shut out the insecurity,
shut out...
                            
shut off the filter on every action
that seals the lid on my pressure cooker heart

shut out my mind

my heart does not speak at the speed of thought.
I write because my hands say the deep truths that
come out slow and frail,

it is the turtle that wins the race.
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