Ileana

Ileana Mar 2014

Do You?

Do you ever stop to think,
To think about the things you have done,
Do you ever stop to remember,
To remember my face, my eyes, my teeth, and my laughter,
Do you ever stop to realize,
To realize that whenever you look at her that way a thorn is planted into my heart,
Do you ever stop to care,
To care about the person who you once vouched for,
Do you ever just stop and remember how it all used to be,
Do you?

Ileana Jan 2014

I Will Win

I will not scream to the world that I am a victim,
Because I find that ridiculous,
However, I feel this terrible feeling of pain,
And I have been keeping it from everyone including myself,

I am at a battle with myself,
But I will not,
I cannot,
Let that break me,

You may think that I am slashing myself every other night,
However, I am not,
I will not,
I cannot,

I do not cry much,
I do not hurt myself,
I still crack jokes and I try to see the positiveness of things,
But sometimes I just want to give up,

And yet I still feel that sharp pain,
Against my chest,
Do you know,
I can't get it out,

I refuse to hurt myself but I believe that,
The deepest wound is not the physical wound,
It is the sadness that you carry,
And it gashes into you deeper and deeper each time you think about it,

This is not a physical battle,
This is a mental battle,
This is an emotional battle,
And somehow I will win,

Ileana Jan 2014

Friendly Combatant

A combatant,
A someone who appears strong and indestructible,
A friend,
A someone that is warm and lovable,
A friendly combatant,
Is absolutely the biggest joke that I play to all the ones who care,
I smile my brightest,
I managed to climb up to perhaps my highest,
And I smiled the whole way,
But what they don't know is what I go through every day,
They know nothing of the past,
The truth is I haven't completely surpassed,
The truth is I have just been,
Well,
Turns out I've just been deployed again.

Ileana Jan 2014

Please Preserve

When you love someone you kiss them,
And it feels nice,
And you want to do it again for the rest of your life,
And you do it ever so softly and gently,
All you hear is the breathing between you both,
You get this wonderful feeling called butterflies,
And you feel like you're on this wonderful roller coaster,
At the same time you feel as though you are surrounded by thousands of flowers on a warm day,
You feel relieved every time you kiss this one person,
And their kiss is absolutely amazing,
And maybe it's all you want to talk about afterwards because you're just so in love,
Maybe you just want a little more,
Or a little more than that,
And you do it again and you both are really happy,
It's this feeling of bliss you receive and it's unexplainable,
Like a rainbow after a storm,
Or a smile from God,
This is called innocent love,
This is called special love,
So please preserve it,
Take good care of it.

Ileana Jan 2014

Writers Block

Writers block is horrible,
It is something that is far from even being classified from being adorable,
It ****** me off,
Because all of the poems I write suddenly cause everyone in the entire room to scoff,
I just don't know what to say,
I wouldn't want to bore you with my day,
I don't want to be another teenager in love,
I want to be different,
I want to be above,
I'm not this piece of perfection,
I'm a person who just wants some loving affection,
I just don't want to annoy you, you see,
I wouldn't want to repeat so many,
I just want to be me,
Perhaps, I've just been trying to discover something new,
Something that'll just differ me from you,
But what, Writers Block, what?

Ileana Jan 2014

Still

I'm not sure how to say it,
Maybe I shouldn't,
I mustn't,
I couldn't,
It's completely out of context,
An inappropriate concept,
Let's just talk about your life instead of mine,
Great, I'm happy everything between you two's been fine,
Nope, I haven't found anybody else new,
I mean the only person I really think about is you,
I mean,
Yes,
Yes,
Yes,
Yes, it's true,
I'm still very much in love with you.

— The End —