Strange, how rare that is

to feel something

so sudden

and still believe it meant everything.

Another night without you

became

another night with you.

Memory playing tricks

like hope does.

I didn’t even want it.

Then came the signs.
Tiny things, quiet things

so loud once you're listening.

I gave in.

And then my insecurities showed up.

They lost me.

They lost you.

There are thoughts

I never dare to share.

Because once spoken,

the magic thins.

And this
this is a secret

between me and the future you.

Your cologne owns my dreams.

Songs follow me.

I still see them
those eyes.
They haunt and hold.

And those **** hands.

Still on me

when you're nowhere near.

Just once,

on your sofa,

I looked at you and

I felt

moments we hadn’t lived yet.

How is that even real?

Were they mine? Ours?

Maybe the heart knows

before the head is ready.


I just remember

looking at a stranger

and somehow

seeing home.

I can’t tell anyone.

The second I say it out loud,

someone else owns it.

And it’s not theirs to hold.

That power.
I redownload apps

just to see if your name
might blink back into my life.

Go on dates

just to prove they’re not you.

But my heart still stops
 at Waterloo Station.

Why is it hardest

to write about something

that felt so easy?

Maybe I blamed that girl from the block,

but it wasn’t her

who wanted to punish you.

Still, maybe

what’s yours

really does find you.

So, if you could just

find me a little faster?

You said life is a beach
I believed, as the world slipped away
the moment you kissed me there.
Do you know that brief, charged moment
when the world seemed to fade away?
How are you so good
at giving those one after another?

You drive the car, play the music,
ask me to close my eyes,
to truly feel the song.
But what I really feel
is your hand brushing my thigh,
the wind carrying your taste to me,
and I know this can’t be the only way
to taste you.

The way you speak of ordinary things
as if they were miracles
it thrills me,
a rush of adrenaline I can’t resist.
This wild urge to see you again,
to feel that pulse... of life.
In your presence, I find a fire
I never knew I had.

You told me, darling,
you have to live.
You said, baby, maybe today’s the only day we’re given.
why did I find you so late?

You told me to become an ocean
but by some sweet accident
I became yours.
How bittersweet, this summer romance
living only inside my head.
And it’s not the head I want to be writing about.

I have a tattoo of me as a wave
never knew how much I longed
to be that wave
just to be on top of you.
But don’t blame me
I’m on day fourteen.

No one pronounces my name so wrong yet so right
You impress me so much
I keep forgetting what my name really is
but you can just call me yours.

I hope every traffic light would turn red
just to steal a few more moments
where time pauses
and desire can make more convincing lies

But maybe next summer

I never thought that I could
Drink morning coffee when hungover.
I have never thought that a compromise
Can taste so good.

I didn’t want to consider different me
I thought I have lost myself with you.
I didn’t know her,
But you did.

I keep doing it to myself.
This pain is better than not having you at all.
I like having you in me,
And I’m the only one who knows it.

Calm and stress at the same time.
I need shivers to enjoy,
But of course you knew that.
You have read me, and suddenly I can’t read anymore.

Conversations in my head,
Disappointed in my own stories.
I pretend that I don’t like to be with you,
But when you’re not around, I don’t have me.

You left me dry,
Because you were dry before you met me.
I wish we had more time to get wet.

When they told me love should be easy,
They didn’t know that it is easy to walk together in the darkness.
I wish we had more time to wait for the morning,
But all we had were nights.

I keep doing it to myself

You whispered a word

not just a word,

but a key carved in shadow,

a syllable stitched from stars I hadn't known to look for.

You held open a doorway

to a place I didn’t know existed,

a realm folded between glances,

where sarcasm balances like truth dressed in a joke,
and meaning hides in the pause between breaths.

I walked that edge with you

fragile, unreal
and still, it felt more true than anything

we could say out loud.

Most wouldn’t notice what we did.

It sank below skin, 
a silence louder than we could name.


We didn’t want the pressure,

but we felt the weight, and gravity was patient,

and naming it felt heavier

than pretending it wasn’t there.

How can someone burn like that

so kind, so distant
like a star shining where no one looks?

I hated how I noticed his loneliness,

how it curled behind his smile

like smoke from a fire that never went out.

In the chaos, he was gentle

a storm with soft hands.

He kissed my forehead

like he was afraid to leave a mark,

and in that second,

I wasn’t invisible.

But I don’t want to fix him.

He is not a mystery to solve.

He is a poem I am allowed to read

without rewriting the end.