Space that you create.
Your room is your secret place.
No one can steal it.

You sleep, eat, breathe, live,
smile, cry, fight, laugh, sleep, give.
You design your space.

Clothes left on the floor.
Photos of friends on the wall.
***** dishes too.

But what happens next?
You pack up and leave that space.
College awaits you.

Someone new's there too.
Cramping on your life design.
No place for just you.

Renovate a bit.
Add in the new, perfect fit.
College is now home.

Home is a nice space.
Cement walls with stale white paint,
but home nonetheless.

A warm comfy bed.
Finally pursuing dreams.
Everything is right.

Now you have to leave.
Home number 1 is ahead.
The past awaits, right?

You walk right inside.
Hoping for the past again.
but the space is dead.

Another is there.
Your things in a closet box.
Everything is gone.

You do not belong.
No longer carefree and fun,
Curtains shade the sun.

A mattress pulled out,
you are now an intruder
in your sisters place.

Your things are scattered,
You are no longer needed,
and you are upset.

Family has moved on,
They no longer need you there.
It doesn't seem fair.

Home number two comes.
The drive is simple and sweet.
See, You've changed too.

You're greeted with love.
The smells and sounds of your space.
Everything is great.

I hate you.
I hate you for being okay
With making me feel this way.
I would rather take a beating
Than deal with this this way
Because that pain would be physical
The bruises would sting as a reminder that you had done this.
The cuts and gashes would scab and pull and cause me discomfort, but I could see them. I could find them and heal them in a weeks time.
But what I feel is deep inside an invisible knife is lodged in my heart and everytime I become numb to its pain it twists relentlessly, reminding me that no matter how much I tell myself it is going to be alright, your won’t be by my side.
I can’t pull it out. This knife in my life. I can’t retrieve it from the depths of this black abyss I’ve been sailing in. This will not heal in a weeks time. I can not watch as this wound gets better. I have to wait it out and hope that I am strong enough to pull myself through. With the knife still intact, as a reminder of you.

I realize now that we both meant well
We couldn't help the fact that our love,

Our Love,

fell down a hole to the black oblivion,
where it burned and disappeared forever.

It's true.
We both knew,
In out souls, and in our hearts, but our heads
Our brains were stuck in the routines, **** in there beds
of security.
Where no one, not even the person that kept telling me those vacant I Love yous
was worth loosing because for once,

For Once,

in my life I had felt secure, and at home, and not alone.
I couldn't see that through my songs, and rhymes, and lullabies
I was sending out a message.
A message that this was over, and we were done, and even though we had fake fun
we were acting.

We were good actors,

No one even knew that we were no longer the star crossed lovers, brought together by fate,
at a party, really, really late one night.
The couple that couldn't not touch when they were together
The couple that could flirt and laugh and play like no one else was in the room,
and the couple that said those three words with more heart, and truth, and vulnerability than anyone we had ever known,

Died a while back.

A good while back as a matter of fact,
but we kept acting.
Acting as though our lives depended on it.
Putting up with the opposites, and the arguments, and the annoyances ...

I can see that clearly now. I'm proud to know that I had found you and learned from you and taught you a little along the way. But for now I say good riddance, and good bye, to the fly on the wall
that I was always putting on a show for.
My wings are un tethered and I fly head strong into this whirlwind called life alone, strong, and more willing to love than ever before.

Why?
I feel trapped.
lost in the emptiness of suspended time.
is that a crime?
I should force a move.
but Why?
Because I’m ready, ready to forget this place and move on.
Come on August 24th. Hurry Up.

Words no longer matter
The world no longer exists
only you and me
touching endlessly
loving without hinderance
only you and me
working for each other
cherishing every last minute
only you and me
melting into one
It’s a little too much fun
only you and me
cuddling so close
The movie playing softly
only you and me
slowly                 drift         away
content
with
being
with
you
only you and me.

Imagination:
Living in a dream come true
Your world come to life

stuck in The Real World:
confined by society
How do I escape...

I go outdoors and
close my eyes, take a deep breath,
and take it all in.

I close my wood door,
open up all of the curtains,
and lay on the floor.

Insert headphones,
run through the trees and flowers;
I swear that I fly.

Curl up with some tea,
open up a brand new book,
drift slowly away...

Turn on some music,
and dance around as I clean.
Happiness abound.

stuck in The Real World:
confined by yourself
find your own escape...

Imagination:
Living in a Dream come True
Your world come to life

It's hard to say how I feel these days
My words are lost in a jungle of confliction.
I go through the motions,
A kiss,to work,go eat,some sleep,and (repeat).
Walking in the same place, never moving forward.
The look in your eyes makes me want to believe that this is okay.
That I can be happy, and live this way forever.
But, I'm restless.
Unable to believe that this is all.
Unwilling to settle for where this path will lead.
March can not come soon enough.