i was in a shell
a dark, vast shell
filled with a tiny little me
the taunting voices
and of course,
darkness.

the voices spoke
and like i said
they taunted me much
i hated it
and i often wonder
in this dark shell
how do i know what to hate
when i know so little
of what there is to like.

then one day
the dark shell cracked
and light flooded in
a shell that was seemingly solid
was beginning to crack
by the people outside
but then again how did i know
they were people?
how did i even figure there was a world outside
when all this while the shell was the only
place i'd been?

but the best thing about the crack
the best thing that came with the crack
was the flooding light
its warmth
its luminiscence
its existance in the shell
the light embraces me,
causes me to feel safe
curious
hungry
hope
unsure
acknowledged.

i hunger more for the light
i try to break out
for it meant freedom
now how i knew that
once again i dont know
it's just blind faith
but the voices
sometimes they pull me back
but i'm fighting
i want that light
i want to get out
to know
to experience
to be alive
to be loved
for i already feel the sneek peak of it
and i want more.

Do you ever wonder why you harbour so much hatred in your heart?
Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if you did something different?
Do you ever wonder what it's like in other's shoes?
Do you ever wonder what it's like if you didn't exist?
Do you ever wonder if anyone wonders the same?

Not even a song will be sung for you,
Not even a soul will be there for you,
Not even a kiss will touch your lips,
Not even your hand will be held,
Not even your heart will be remembered,
Not even a word you say will be heard,
Not even an eye will look upon you,
Not even the wolves will come for you,

You are undesirable,
Ruined.

You're like my little bird,
Fragile and precious,
You are delicate and beautiful,
Your voice is a beautiful symphony.

But you are easily flown away by the wind,
Being so little in this vast world,
You are easily hunted down by merciless predators,
Being so weak and feeble.

Always, I'm frightened by the thought,
That I would someday lose you,
To worse,
To death.

I promise to care for you,
But am unsure if i could keep it,
For I don't know how,
Being awkward and new to this.

This feeling is raw and weird,
Words I know can't explain it,
You are fragile to me;
Your name could shatter at the very mention.

It will not be easy,
This task of protecting you and defending,
But know that I will go to any measure,
To keep my precious one from harm.

It all began as an observation,
a mere innocent study,
to watch people in cars,
from cars.

First, the tired workers,
who glared and stared in the road in front,
who slumped in their seats,
who held the steering wheels in a glum manner,
who had dark circles under their eyes,
who had cans of beers at the back seat,
tired, weary, drained, exhausted,spent.

The cheeky children,
who yelled at their siblings,
who wrestled with siblings,
who sat listening to lectures,
who texted with their phones,
who went tippy tappy with their laptops,
who ignored the world; reading,
innocent, busy adolescents.

Of course, there are mothers,
who glance at their sleepy children every few minutes,
who smile at their babies dotingly,
who gave loud lectures to kids,
who smoked cigars,
who was on the phone,or was just driving ahead,
loving, fussy, unleisured.

There were the out-going,
who head-banged furiously to booming music,
who sang aloud to radio,
who chatted enthusiasticly with passengers,
who smiled the whole way through the journey,
who stuck their hands out to feel the wind,
who had nothing to worry about,
free, wonderful, liberated, loose.

Also, some were fretful,
who needed to visit hospitals,
who had their heart broken,
who got rejected at interviews,
who lost someone,
who is obviously in anxiety, who were simply drunk,
worrysome, tired, sad.

And then there's me,
who had nothing better to do,
than to watch and observe,
and felt many things should be changed,
eccentric, weird.