A sadness fills the empty space
An open, gaping hole, I thought I had left.
The needles ***** at my lungs like icewind on a winter morning
As I try to breathe you in.
You hurt me so badly.
Oh god, I want you.

And I thought I was okay before I met you.

A sadness fills my aching heart
A terrible love I thought I had cured.
Your fingertips send me love through the air, keystrokes and despair
And what wouldn't I do to fly to you?
Cutting wings -
I love you so much, I am so sorry.

I just can't.

A deconstruction begins
A creation I thought I had adored.
My mangled heart clings to you.
My blood is on your hands.

I plead my soiled love, youth, and blood

it is not my fault.

I have waited a thousand-and-one years
For my long fabled prince to come.
My tower is crumbling,
And my bed turning to stone.
I have waited far too long
And my heart is dying.

If only I had known you
Before I knew him.
If only I had known your skin
Maybe things wouldn't be this way,
I would not owe to life
Such bitter debt.

We could live together somewhere
In the city - you and I
Singers and painters and names
Not yet written down in the book of life
For such a life would we have to live!

We'd be those silly romantics -
The kind you see in sappy indie films
And the kind that people pluck guitar strings to.
The ones whose faces ache from smiling,
Whose lips and eyes are chapped by love.

Instead our lives are less saturated with love
Then they should be.
Hundreds upon hundreds of miles
Taking our breath away
With each and every word.

Breathlessly sleeping,
And endlessly awake.
I am so tired, I am so tired.

If only I could keep my mouth shut.
Keep my heart shut.
If only I had waited.
If only I had waited for you.

What would I do to hold you -
More like
What wouldn't I do?
What wouldn't I give up
In order to feel your body
Next to mine

Burying you beside me
In love, affection
Compassion
And passion
To touch you
To hold you
To call you mine

And what wouldn't be
Sweeter than this?
For once, I would be happy
I would be in bliss
If I could do more than dream of your kiss

What wouldn't I do for you, baby?
I would do anything.
What couldn't I do for you, honey?
I can't do
anything.

You're sick and tired of the things you used to know
Now you bargain for another place to call your home
If life was easy we would all be singing happy
As god would have it we can never look for hope.

So, caught out in the rain
You cried wolf
Once dry, whet again
Your taste for another, other place
A face.

Had you been broken from a failure in the start
You wouldn't have to check the falter in your heart
Shock waves and heartaches and wounds of yesterday
Cut, collected, and sealed in your throat
Decisions and numbers, and the things that you wrote.

So, caught out yet again
Your lust paled
Regrets and demands, your borderline
Body bag of broken hearts!

Your memory yet smolders in my heart
And your ashes have been ground into my wounds
I wear them now like tattoos
A bleak, crude reminder
Of what I neglected
And would lose.

I wanted to make music
And I wanted to be a star
I wanted to be so far away from who you are
Dirtied by the masses
And scarred

Bitter taste
Plastic smile
Lead heart

Now I paint my face
To take off my skin
And bare the ***** within.