Let me write you a poem, not because I can but because I have to
Your name drips like candy off the tongue, in a world that seems empty of all else your pulse feels like drag racing on a highway.
Put your hands on me.  Bluntly and stop, thinking and start feeling me. Crawling into your bed and holding your head up so I can peer into your mind, to see what I can find.
I want to remind myself of how much I mean to you
and how late nights are form fitting dresses on an anorexic,
Sugar pills given to diabetics.
red markers given to cutters, or braces given to people who stutter.
You, are every if and or but I’ve ever ignored. I implore you to understand me
my nooks and crannys, my would’s, should’s and can be’s.  
I want you like ****** coursing through my veins.
I can’t contain myself.
Skip town on a bus, to find your way into my room on my bed under my sheets, my skin, my heat. Beat me, leave bruises on my thighs so when my lovers see them they have to ask why and I have to hide you, like a drug addiction and bad breath in the morning, you feel like global warming against my skin, when you literally lift me up I’m reminded of how small I am in comparison.
Let me write you a poem, not because I want to but because I’m in love with you.
Had you fooled didn’t I?
Let’s get one thing straight.
I hate the way you make me feel.
I’ve taken too much time to heal these wounds and you remind me that they’re still fresh.
My body feels like it’s in love, I can’t think of anything else when you’re around
except the sound in my own head.
I fell in love with you like a razor blade cuts across fresh skin.
Quickly, and with the malice of a thousand swearing tongues
I found your name on the end of a list too many times to forget.
and I hate it.
Because I never write poems for people I am not in love with.
So forgive me if I can’t come to grips with the idea that I have
fallen for you like a snow storm, like the rain that shatters glass.
Kicking and screaming, on the soft grass.

Let me write you a poem, not because I can, but because I’m afraid that I have to.
If I don’t write these memories down then I might forget you.
and I don’t want to.

You drove me home in the rain.
The tension was driving me insane and i couldn’t withstand the strain of it upon my shoulders.
You should know i respect you way too much to let this go.
I just really need to let you know. That if you don’t i will. So just stop. Stop doing that thing with your mouth where you talk.
Because its hard to kiss you when your opinions getting in the way
Stop. Stop doing that thing with your mind where you lie. Next to me and whisper that I'm worth the risk
Stop, stop doing that thing you do with your eyes. When you see my smile but you know my mind wants to cry.
Stop, stop doing that thing with your hands where you demand attention because the suspension between us is too great and I hate that I'm writing you a poem because I only ever do this to people that I love
And I'm not in love with you. So stop.
Stop doing that thing with your smile. That makes me want to walk a mile just see it sprint across your face.
I don't want a happy ending I want fate
I want a nice smile and a bed mate
Not an intimate promise of tomorrow
I can't stand the distance between us
So I fall on my knees, take me please I'm yours to break and bond. I'm bound to the ground exactly where I was found. So stop.
Stop, stop doing that thing with your ears where you hear what I mean and not what I say.
You make my brain fuzzy, and I can't think
Can't cant. Can't. Can't think straight
I've never felt straighter in my life.
Which causes me no strife other than the fact that I can’t ******* talk to anyone without thinking about your taste and how fast I would surrender to you without haste so just Stop!
Stop that thing you did with your mouth when you talk.
Because its hard to kiss you when you're opinions are getting in the way.

I’m tired of trying, I just want to rest.
If you want my body, go on and take the wreck,
I’ve made myself into something I despise and if it works for you then I guess that’s fine.
By the time you read this I’ll be gone, and your sick memories will become one.
A dream I’ve been haunting, and keeping inside. In a desperate attempt to hide
I’d like to take all the things you taught me to see, bundle them up inside me.
Cry myself a river to let it all out. Then punch my ticket and with it take a razor to a clean arm.
You’re the abuser and the user the king and the accuser.
“Careful follow my instruction, and I will show you self-destruction.”
it’s criminal how you can consume me, how the thought of you makes a muse out of me.
I thought you were my friend! But there is nothing left to mend, but a sickness and the ability to bend.
I’ve been losing my mind, and I tend to assume you’re right I’m wrong, can I do anything but not make this choice?
I used to say I miss your voice, but I’ve become so custom to hearing it so loud that it blocks out any and all sound. Even if you’re not around
I’m floating in a sea of lies, and I’m deprived of the basic need, to feed. Food is too simple I need something more; help me forget the pain of remembering her.
Now that we’re alone together
can you help me forget her?
I can’t help but want to fight you
I’ve been through shades of blue
but this is an entirely different hue.
Keep me close, hold me here.
Whisper in my ear, you’re not who they say you are,
I don’t want to believe how much you’ve been hurting me
But it’s over now I’m all dried up, the ocean I was swimming in has become un done.
And I’ve been tired of trying for so long now. I can’t remember a time where I didn’t doubt you.

I stumble out of bed
Taking dream out of my head
Running razors across dead hairs
As they fall like the leaves in my back yard
I feel naked in my skin, basking in my sin
As I fall back down
Will you turn me around
My face to the ground
Hold me alive, I don’t wanna die.
I don’t wanna die
I understand your disappointment
As you stare blindly at my scars
I find life hard to bear
I find love hard to care about
when I’m clouded with doubt.
about you and I.

Make me forget his name
I’ll let you say her name
Killing won’t help us now
Ending this will just hurt you more in the end
Jewel, diamond in the ruff, you’ll pay for the pain you’ve put me through
Ask me if this is ok?
My hurt won’t help you stay sane
Is this worth the pain in the
End
**** the heart
Organized crime is what’s left to find
Dead men running through town
I’m gone for you, now.

Is this worth the pain in the end
Saying it’s over doesn’t mean it’ll end
Ask yourself the question,
I’ll burn the messages you’ll send
And all the rules we’ll bend
Ha, payback’s a *****.

Lie down
He’ll encourage
let me
He’ll say
how was your day?
He’ll ask me
Fine,
I’ll say
She wants more and so do I
Let me go
I’ll shout
Calm down
he’ll soothe
condescendingly
All I want is to be able to fly
without having to let go
or say goodbye
he doesn’t get that I’m screaming
he doesn’t get I’m not worth it
He doesn’t want better if better isn’t
me.