When I go, they'll say how they knew me. That they knew my passion. She'll say she pursued me. The only thing they show is nothing but cruelty. Neglect me, and vexed me, filled me with regret. I expect the fake tears, you've been practicing for years.

You'll say that you knew me, when you were never here. You were never there for me, but I cleaned up your fears. You'll say that you were down for me. Well you were never near. You could've saved me, from the wine and the beer.

You'll tell them they don't know me, when you don't know me too. You left me for some ha-ppiness, the pun's intended too. They'll tell you I was magical. I smithed my words with ease. They'll tell you it was tragical, the pain I pushed on me.

They'll say I was a saint. They'll say I was a sinner. they'll say I enjoyed being the center. They'll call me a hero. They will call me a winner. But I haven't won, I never entered. They'll say was arrogant. I needed anger management. They'll call me a villain, because I lost my feeling. I started talking killing.

Me myself and I have watched you all go by living on in your lives, I don't even get a hi. You never say goodbye, when you walk out of my life. You just keep on walking by I'm not even on your minds. Even though I find the time to sit here and dry your eyes, you'd think you could return the favor sometime. I'd tell you I see through you.

But really, are you surprised? I'm taking the time out for you before my demise. Sometimes I despise all of you guys. So I wonder why, I just wonder why. I wonder why they say they know me? I'm a ghost of their past. I'm losing color fast and I'm fading to the contrast.

Forbidden love,
with an angel above me.
She walks by my side,
telling me that she loves me.
I still believe her,
Deception of misconception
lethal weapons to my mind,
a hollow shell,
as people surround me,
In my internal hell,
I burn and flail,
failed communications.
I'm in a jail cell in my thoughts,
broken props on the floor,
like useless couture,
you words are a ghost of my past,
I chose to ignore.
Piercing my veil,
I put you on a pedestal,
called you my holy grail,
then you shook my world up ,
so all I can do is wail.
I feel like I failed.
I can't get it through to you,
so I blew it off,
now what am I supposed to do?
I planted a seed of love and then,
I dug all my roots into you,
just for you to turn and say the feeling isn't mutual,
I love you boo,
Nothing in this world could get me over you.
I'll struggle too,
keep ahold to you,
I get emotional,
potion plus the poisin,
burns my heart,
but I'm stuck,
Devotional,
it hurt to hear you say it,
and my likes to replay it,
and you got me going crazy,
where'd you go baby?
I got that lost feeling and everything is hazy,
my vision isn't clear,
faintly shinning the days away,
eyes pour tears gravely,
bravely I look you in the eyes everyday,
and I say the things I do,
I couldn't voice them other ways,
I praise god almighty,
for sending you my way,
to pull me from that ledge,
I shoulda been gone that other day.
I am who I am,
my past is why I'm here today,
I will say this only once,
never again or other days,
My love for you is to deep,
so dont throw it all away.
there is more I want to say,
but to put it in rhyme would take the meaning away.
I really don't know what else to say.
I'd tell you I love you, but really, what would it change.
I don't want you to leave. So hopefully you will stay.
Romeo is dying to live through this play.

There's this feeling of irrepressible despair that I can no longer keep inside.
I need to know where you are, and where you've been, why do you hide?
I'm sitting here wondering why I told you to go.
Why I pushed you away, why we said no.
I see you through a screen full of lies and deception.
Depression's setting in, like screams of infections.
You were my protection, for the longest, the one I leaned on,
but by the selection of my words, you broke away clean, gone.
The pain I feel is surreal, I can't explain nor can I deal,
You were something of a thrill,
I needed you then, I need you still,
You're the only thing in life that ever seemed real,
but now I'm back to dreaming,
killing my mind to conceal.
Thoughts bleeding, mind breaching.
Heavy breathing.
Now all apart of my past,
I trap it all in a mask I wear,
my voice raspy,
I tear the wrist, bombing my heart,
Fear passed me.
Blood and bone, *******, on my own.
I found my home and another,
who loves me more than my mother,
I love you but I love her more and furthermore,
she's glorious, I'm never bored,
Notorious, but not a bore,
losing her I can't afford, so sorry baby here's the door...
Leave me be.
Can't you see?
Your memory is killing me.
At ease, I am calm,
Agreed I'm angry and I'm,
not really stable,
Turnt tables,
Look at me now,
Oh, you aren't able...

My deceiving emotions, are leaving me bleeding,
so when I share them out, they come off sorta misleading.
I'm pleading that you understand, the things I am seeing in mind, in due time, I made you mine, so History was repeating.
I'm seeing this, getting a reading of sweet bliss,
I'm eating your chips, grabbing your hips, and kissing your lips.
I went from dropping the clips used for dropping off crips,
to shopping for gifts I buy.
I broke ties, with those I despise,
The ones who talk ****, snort coke, and tell lies,
Sometimes I wonder why I was friends with those guys,
They meant nothing to me,
Nothing on my life,
Nothing on my conscience, but my sub-conscience is so wise.
I feel like a cat, I got something like 9 lives.
But what is the point when you can't even survive, the one you're living in.
I'm barely living, not giving a ****, but giving one finger of five.
It's hard to hide, you are the light in my eyes, the moon in my sky.
When you're laying next to me, baby there's stars in your eyes.

Two conflicting thoughts, but three inflicted hearts, and one convicted by the time of the clock. His heart stained by the sharp pain of a reclaimed memory. His heart he gave to her and said it was her’s to bleed. She gave it back to him and said it wasn’t hers to see. He gave his heart away again, to a girl who needed a friend. Then the friend accepted it and, gave up hers to him.

Time flew by in blurs, their sweet words slurred and reverbed in his mind, which was refurbished. He referred to his past as garbage, recycling out the skirmish thoughts. Her allure had him squirmish and nervous, out of his box. The mask he used to speak of, the one that claimed to defeat love, had reached it’s peak of deceit of, his mind. All this time he had told himself to hide, but the feeling of her skin had made him feel so alive. That she broke down all the barriers that he had stacked up high, by means of drugs and alcohol, death and suicide.

He stays committed mainly because to her he is addicted, permitted to admit it, he’s pitted against his visions. Omitted, acquitted forgiveness. Promises transmitted into words, but verbs are quickly emitted. But the war that’s waging in his head is something truly wicked. The **** he puts up with constantly has pushed him to his limit. He will never give in, to the sin that had him spinned out, from the end to begin.

She was everything he needed to get him through the day. She became his routine, a content place he chose to stay. But the very thing he wanted had seemed to come back into play, but they settled on these subtle terms, rules unmeant to break. She respected what he had, though she still seemed so sad, and he was mad at himself for not appreciating what he had. The bad thing is the the what if factor. What if she said yes, would it even had mattered? Could he really make her happy? Would he only make her madder. He can never talk about it, and risk a kick to the bladder. Talking at her getting madder. “Really wasn’t supposed to add her, couldn’t out her anymore, love her more then mass does matter. We chitter and we chatter, then I hit her with the truth, she accepts it but I’m guessing that there’s no hole in this loop.”

Elope me in your thoughts and all this mental pain.
Like a rope you seem to choke me and cut me off from my brain.
I can't make sense of it, nor can I explain it.
I tried to paint the picture from the window I was "paned" in.
Sprained mind thought I still want to reach you,
Teach me to love you, don't preach that I bug you.
Release my anxiety, I "Leach" on to propriety.
Sobriety is getting harder by the day...
Society is watching me, I'm not sure what to say...
I'm sitting in my rocking chair, typing away a blurred array,
I still write about you everyday,
you haven’t read a word I've saved.
I still think about you every night,
Your closeness is what I crave.
When I talk to you I cave, man I don't know what to say..
I feel less intelligent, but hell your smile, I relish it...
It shines so bright no need for embellishment.
I want to see it all the time, so much I feel so selfish..
It's pure happiness in it's prime,
but the crime is that it's for a lie.
You hurt inside, I seem to help.
I'm on your mind, and you're on mine.
That's fine with me, you're divine.

I clone you in my mind, I'm slightly off into my zone.
I'd call you with my phone, but again, you decide to be alone,
Talking to myself, seems to help, so I drone on and on,
You seem to come to mind when I think of letters home.
I think of all the times that we shared when we were known,
and how we would set the tone as we have grown to move along.

I remember all the times we shared fries, and we watched the sun rise.
I remember the stars in the sky, and the ones in your eyes.
I remember when we cried, when bad times came by.
I remember our goodbye, the love we let fly.

You aren't perfect, but you've made life worth it.
When you're around you clear the pain below the surface.
I was hurting, in my mind I was worthless,
You taught me how to love myself, I love you that's for certain.

Close the curtains please, join me in our place,
I want to take you up in my arms, and kiss you on your face.
You are my solar system, you are my outer space.
Heartbeat racing, fingers tracing, the lacings of your galaxy.

Coup de grace! Fantasy again mixes with reality.
The bottle hits the floor like in a cliche'd tragedy.
You aren't the same person, you burn off apathy.
You were here, now you're gone, you're resentful, and you're mad at me.

I left you far behind, when our love was in our prime,
Now you don't give me the time, I always seem to cross some line.
It seems to you I'm slime because you always gripe and grime,
It's never good enough for you, no matter how high I climb.

This mountain of love I made for you, is so quiet, so giant.
But you walk away from me, and make your own island.
So I'm jumping off for you, this is sure to be violent.
Now you get your wish, I'll forever be silent.

I watched you drive away from me that cold November night.
We had had a pleasant day because, we'd made up from a fight.
With our latter byes, We wrote each other cute love lettered lines.
We promised each other love forever, patience, and better times.
The crime I made that day was subtle, a white tulip of a lie.
I told you one word, a simple, fragile "goodbye".
A single moment in time, shook my tattered life.

I spent most of my time thinking, this thought has came with ease.
You've made me drop the bottle so, maybe you were made for me.
You're all I've really hoped for, you're everything I need.
Just give me you, some time, and the road ahead to be pleased.
Your smile grows trees, and your grace flows like blown leaves.
My love for you keeps growing, like a seed, it just seems to exceed.
So for you I proceed to be crazy. I can't help gazing at you.
You're amazing. Eyes blind, glazed over.
Your face frozen in my mind like an aurora blazed over the sky.
Hazy memories phasing back, shining bright like stars in your eyes.
I praise you. I crave you. I love you, never hold one above you.

For this day will be the last you spend alone,
Because baby, when I come home. I'm gonna make it known.
That everyday I spend with you is a holiday,
I need you by my side, never any other way.
I'll always be yours forever, I'll never go astray.
I'm gonna love you and keep you strong. I hope that's okay?
So I give you these words, as my digital bouquet.

My relations are my downfall. I fell for an angel that fell from the constellations. Defamation through conversation, she chose over contemplation. She's dream chasing, while it's her I'm chasing, displacing my thoughts to her until the day she'll erase me. I long for her to embrace me, I feel so cold like a bullet shell casing, tasting the metal and copper. bracing myself for the devastation, she's so devastating. I'm impatiently patiently waiting. Wasting away day by day. I feel like I'm living with nothing more to say. Life is hard, you gonna learn today. What would happen if my life force walked away? I could have sinned or been saved. But I've already paved my way. I may or may not make it the next day. But until the day that I see you, I'll continue to play. Death is the greatest opponent, but a necessary component. I'm sick for the moment. My mind is decaying, all these pep talk aren't gonna delay the, inevitable truth that's at hand. At this rate, I'll never be a 25 year old man. I'm tired of waiting, I have no plan. I made you my future, that's stuck in quick sand.

With simple innocence,
quietly reminiscing.
we are standing alone
we are all alone.
together,
forever.

This is what it seems
lost in our dreams
and we are walking alone
solid we stand
As loud as we can.

We make decisions,
that are bright like stars
lost our minds
we are all alone in this so far,
lost forever,
lost together.

I will wilt like time,
a stolen vision.
but this love of mine,
is timeless time.
we are alone in this
together,
Forever.

Forever,
whatever,
together we're fine.
I have you now,
so forever you're mine.

You never know how much you love her, until you watch her walk astray,
In another mans arms, is where she is today.
You wait for her for years, and fear in tears is where you'll stay.
and every night you dream of her, the one that got away.

You pray to a God you don't really know.
That one day her love for you will grow.
You'd traverse through rain, sun and snow.
Just to see her ocean eyes aglow.

You're left with her pictures, her smile is so wide.
You know you are apart of that, but that's what hurts inside.
You'll always be a friend to her, you'll always be her guide.
You'll stand beside her with pride, even if he takes her as his bride.

She'll always be so beautiful, like an island in the sea.
She'll always be intriguing, so interesting to me.
She'll always be my everything. Everything I'll never see.
She'll always be so far away, another ghost to me.