When you go
Follow the road
You can't see

When you go
Make the most
Of your own worth

When you go
Pick up the horizon
If you feel like falling

When you go
Watch me go
Far too

When you go
Follow the road
Of your own worth
If you feel like falling
Watch me go far too

I, Lou Paloma, do hereby request that the following items be given to their rightful owners

To my dearest mother-
I leave you my promises
The ones tucked gently under my pillow
Unblemished
Those dreams I never mentioned
Keep them safe
Make sure no one ever knows I cared

I leave you a brother more adequate of your affection
More worthy of your testimony
Do not mourn me wild woman
I am leaving you with nothing
Soon, I will be nothing to you too

To Billy-
I leave you my body
Take me
This spoiled temple
And discard me like the heathens do
Transform me into nothing more than the dust that I deserve to be
Forget the rules you always follow
Forget about me brother
Burn me at the stake
And don't let the smoke settle

I leave you my wife
Take her
And see her as whole again
Pick up the pieces I left in the kitchen
On the living room carpet
Scattered across the tree lawn
And give them back to her
Like the pieces of jigsaw from Christmas morning
Watch her place each piece more confident than the last
Enjoy every move she makes- It will make you whole too

To Irene-
I leave you my house
The one I couldn't pay for
The home you never adopted
Make it your own
Treat it like you did me
Take those tender hands
Outline each crevice my fist created
Patch the holes when it starts to crumble
It will crumble soon

Oh Sweet Irene
I leave you my dignity
Set it like spare change on the nightstand
Knock it under the bed when the time comes
I leave you those scars
From the first time
And the last time
And every other time therein
I leave you with vows never honored
I leave you here without me
I will leave you alone now
Like you always wanted it to be

In case you forgot
that toolbox heart
you left out
has yet to return home

People tell me I overthink things
It has never been about mountains or molehills
I always see land big enough for shelter
I do not need reasons
This is what worries me

I am the best at sort of
I think I know
Then I know I know
Then I see you in public and you're laughing
And I can't tell if you're laughing at me
Or just laughing
I'm not laughing because I don't know what you're laughing about
So I smile
Not because I want to
But because I think you want me to
Hope that your giggle is the drawbridge to a conversation I've been dying to have
But you walk by
Barely nod your head and say hi
And suddenly I don't know anymore
But I think everyone else knows
I wonder if you know
And I sure hope not
I've been trying to tell you myself
So I turn back
I swear in my head this was easier
The words just a quick skip down the walkway away
But I stand here
Discussing with myself the things I know I could have done better
But definitely shouldn't have done better
Because the possibilities of better bring thoughts of the worst that I've never envisioned
So I sit down on the pavement
Each passerby shouts another reason why maybe next time won't be like this
But I most certainly will be like this

It shouldn't be this hard to climb mountains
To lose my breathe as I look out at the landscape
I just want to see you
Shout your name at the highest peak
And watch the echos vibrate off my chest
Hope that you shout back
This is what worries me most
What I need
Is the courage to say exactly what I intend
Believe I already own this certainty
Live within the in between

I'm a people person
A look both ways
before I cross the street person
A hold the door
if I beat you there person
A pick you up
if you get knocked down person
A don't care where
you come from person
A don't care what
your skin tone is
or how long your hair flows
or if you have any hair at all
or if you look in the mirror
and see a person who you
can't stand person
A let's team up
and change the world person
Because we all are people

When a fire starts to burn
It doesn't ask questions
It doesn't make excuses for the rubble

When a fire starts to burn
It sprints in a whisper
It circles the competition- reigniting fallen timber

When a fire starts to burn
The battlefield is everywhere
The castle conceals the mausoleum
The casualties are nowhere to be found

Unintended circumstances brought me back
Where the wild things are. Or were.
Youthful images reemerge as I traverse my old home.
A senseless vagabond roaming former lands
With bittersweet observations and nothing short of good intentions.
Old landmarks remain, others disappeared as I did.
My room remains open and lonely with tidied sheets
And outdated athletic apparel scattered throughout.
A sign that my presence here is obsolete.
I've been dreading this day for some time now.
Not due to my father's underwhelming support
Or my mother's overbearing nature.
I've been dreading this day because of the monsters under my bed.
They don't exist anymore.
I'm not afraid anymore.
My biggest childhood worry vanished the minute
I stepped foot out of the house for good.
So when I stepped foot back into my room to fall asleep
I gave one last look where my nightmares once resided.
Just in case I had fooled myself into becoming one of
The vast majority of adults too mature for childhood villains.
And then it happened- my innocence evaporated from my body.
My sophisticated eyes were no match for my former foes.
I had confirmed the last traces of my youth had been eliminated
From my very existence- migrating under mattresses around the block.
So all I can do now is lie here and reminisce about
Where the wild things are now.

Your passion
Ignites
A fiery flame

My mind
Becomes
Your forest

It's not where you'll go, but the path you'll take.
The friends you'll make and the hands you'll shake.
But what about the hearts you'll break?
The lies you'll tell and the demons you'll wake?
Will you ache in your mistakes?
Or will you grow?
Will you let the path destroy your fate?
Or will you go?

Watch out
For the greatness
That sits
Inside of you

Do not leave it alone
It is not luggage
Not visiting
It does not need your permission to stay

Treat it like family
Like summertime
Treat it well
Like it belongs there
Make it bold
Hold it tight to your body
Make it your body
Live within it every day

Be bold
Be great
Before you forget it is yours to own

Wear your words.
Let all hear the fatigue you bare.
Paint portraits with phrases.
Sound symphonies with imagery
that your idioms decree.
Establish edifices with nouns and verbs
so magnificent that none disturb.
Make your mind match your mandates.
Engage in your expressions proudly.