Desperate to feel like you really don't care,
Needing to feel life that's really not there,
It scares you, and wears you, and you cannot bare,
Feeling your feelings when nobody cares.

You pick up the bottle, you pop down some pills,
Desperately trying to keep life at standstill.
You know that your life is starting to corrupt,
And sometimes you're hoping you'll never get up.

When sadness and madness swirl 'round in your mind,
you care less 'bout the mess that you left behind
Not trying to be careless, you're trying to be kind,
But there you are, helpless, you're that Frankenstein.
With blindness to kindness that you're trying to find,
your loved ones can't stay 'cause you show all the signs.
Signs of a kind of a reckless design,
And when you wake up, no one is left behind.

You're on your own, all alone, no one to blame,
Trying to own up to all of that shame.
You've got no one to go to who feels all your pain,
Cause everyone's done who still knows your **** name.

You try to find new people you can call friends,
But why do they fly away when you need them?
You cry and decide that this might be the end,
You lie and deny that it's not just pretend.
Cause if you don't die and you keep trying to mend,
then maybe for yourself you won't have to fend,
Maybe there's someone that can comprehend,
someone out there with a hand they can lend.

Then one day a kind soul appears from the dusk,
You want to be mindful and give them your trust.
But all of the times that you've tried to adjust
your mindset, you find that you're 'lone in the dust.
You tell yourself well this is hell I disgust,
But then you just yell and repel 'cause you must.

They might actually light up your darkest of nights,
They might be the brightness to make you alright,
but fright makes you sight all the things that ain't right.
You shun them and run away from them despite,
the thing that you're running from is deep inside.
And you need to do something 'cause you can't hide.
It's who you're used to, but you've got to decide
that who you want to be needs something untried.

If you don't try to trust you'll be alone,
with life passing by while you're sitting at home.
You want to try but you can't summon the fight.
Alone again, forever, saddest of sights.

A big blue house that's framed in white,
A desert that views the starry night,
That spot in the mountains out all alone,
Someone, somewhere calls it home.

A mansion of stone, high on a hill,
A small tin shack that won't stand still,
The apartment where tenants struggle for rent,
These places seem so very different.

But to each soul they're all the same,
That place that doesn't need a name.
You know that feeling when you're here,
Home doesn't care how it appears.

A villa that sits right next to the sea,
The small straw hut for your family,
The streets of the city with your shopping cart,
Home is where you find your heart.

I've searched for my heart everywhere,
I yearn to find my home out there
But every place just feels so wrong,
Maybe nowhere is where I belong.

I often feel that empty hole,
That saps the spirit from your soul.
The feeling deep inside your gut,
that makes you feel the world close shut.

You feel like you're the only one,
you do your best to have some fun.
Yet even though you do your best,
nothing cures your loneliness.

You look around and see the rest,
those people seem to have that zest.
The zest you get from having fun,
and being right there with someone.

You try and try to find a soul
who helps you fill that empty hole.
Yet everytime you search for one,
you end up all alone, with none.

I wish I knew just how to be,
and not need anyone with me.
Yet even when I'm feeling fine,
it sneaks up on me from behind.

Sometimes you find someone who cares,
but those are times that seem so rare.
Yet still you wonder if it's real.
Do they know just how you feel?

I talk to people every day,
distract myself in many ways.
But when I finally go home,
I realize that I'm all alone.

Skeletons I cannot show,
Buried deep beneath the snow.
Secrets that are best untold,
Endless Winter; lonely, cold.

I long for Spring, and joy and love,
But fear the sunshine from above.
The snow will melt; the world will see,
The darkness deep inside of me.

The decision that trips you ever so slightly
The catch of a cloud that begins a gradual descent

The tastes and smells of sweetness,
The bitterness on your tongue and the stench that fills your nose
The sounds of music that take you beyond
The screams of terror that echo in the night
The warm feelings of soft skin
The piercing pains through every nerve
The endless beauty of the world
The sights you wish you could unsee

The best of friends with the most distant of strangers
The truest of love with the ghosts of imagination
The warmth of pure ecstasy and bliss
The cold of despair and hatred
The feelings of every imaginable kind

The cold, hard bottom of the darkest of pits
The helplessness that overwhelms
When you realize you've been falling