i wish

i wish Mar 2014

i dream
dream of a life that i crave
i want to get better
n e e d to get better

and you
you literally sit in the corner
feeling sorry for yourself.
and make fun of me?

darling,
the difference between me
and you
is that i overcame my unhappiness.

you have it perfect, you were always happy
... yeah. happy.

SHUT UP YOU IDIOT

Mar 2014

April Dolan

Anxiety

They throw around the word "anxiety"
They say the upcoming test will give them anxiety
That's only nerves
A synonym

They don't feel
Burning hands
Terror throughout
Drifting eyes
World falling apart

If they felt
The way I do
Would they laugh and stare
The way they do

i wish Mar 2014

untitled

my life is a roller coaster with the tracks ripped off
by ignorant
selfish
petty
*******
who are dead to me.

i know i shouldn't say that, but how do you not
when you're swimming
drowning
trying to pick up the pieces
everyday
with the turmoil they have left behind.

i wish Mar 2014

4//16

"you're the only one who has been in love."
love?
was love the thing
that kept me awake
made me afraid to be near you
because you might get angry once again?
maybe
you wouldn't shove me this time or
get upset because i begged to be with my friends
or lash out because I refused.
i had to know
why we weren't working
why I fell in love up with your caramel eyes
and that crooked smile.
THANK YOU
for making me realize there's so much beyond you and your twisted self.
because I was a fool
for putting myself through that and the depression that came soon after.

***** you and your new *** too

i wish Mar 2014

really? perfect?

this is me. this is the girl who is
beautiful
has a perfect family
who boys like
whose family has money
cute clothes
big house
you know the drill...

but i wish.

i am the girl
who is disgusting.
whose family has fallen apart
boys run.
small family business is trickling away like the love that was once there.
fat.
whose mental health was abolished when she was 8.
dreams of giving a family a life she never had.

i want to e x p e r i e n c e.

i want this perfect-sweet-full-of-life-life that i know I will never have with someone that is so far from my reach.
still i reach.

lolol how do you work this

— The End —