He walks
Right foot followed by the left
His head a wilted flower
Facing the floor
Hiding the tears
Hiding the fears
And hiding his flowering mind that he finds
Hideous
The day is half over
And he finds himself again
At the nurses office
Facing the ceiling
Always up or down
Never forward

He sits
Knees under his chin
Arms wrapped around them
Suddenly face buried
Rocking back and forth
Repeating the one desire
"I just want to be two years old again"
Tears streaking down his face
Reflecting the television he uses
To drown out his sobs
His wishes going unanswered
His anxiety going out of control
And his mind
Just going
Forced and failed attempts at sleep
Produce nothing but tear stained pillows
And blood shot eyes

He sleeps
The rare nights
Where his fears invade his dreams
Everything intermingling
Mixing and morphing into something
Even he doesn't recognize
All of it terrifying
And all of it
A part of him
A part of his unconscious
All shoved inside the chest of his subconscious
Buried deep inside his mind
Locked with a key it will take forever to find
It never calms
He
Never calms

He wakes
Another paralyzed morning
Chest pounding
Blood rushing
Skin tingling
Stomach pain beginning
He wants to move
To not be wrapped in his straight jacket sheets
Despite their comfort
The day passes through his mind
His life passes through his mind
"What if..."
Every wrong decision possible
Collapsing his determination

He stands
He stumbles
Another false start
Another day off to the wrong start
Gaze returning to his mattress
Hearing the siren song
Promising to soothe his deteriorating soul
But he knows the black hole
Disguised by that black comforter
He can't fall back in

He walks
He sits
He sleeps
He wakes
He stands
He ages
Anxiety his only constant
Anxiety his only promise

You don't know what you do to me.

You can't even imagine
Can't begin to fathom
What goes on in my mind
When I catch
That look in your eye
The taste of you lips
Upon contact with a magical kiss
Mix that with,

The rush of your skin
The contact and touch
Of our bodies entwined
With such emotions combined
You simply blow
My mind.

If you could see your reflection in my eyes
Or feel your breath upon my face
As we enthrall in this intimate embrace
You would understand.
Understand how I crave your beautiful imperfection
Run through my veins
Make my heart race
Like a lethal injection
And you control the beat.

Yes you control the rhythm
To which our bodies dance
We begin to move
Lost completely in a passionate groove
As your hips move and mine move with 'em.
Until our bodies beat
And collapse with exhaustion
Then our eyes meet

And reveal to one another
That our minds are not yet done
For they are connected in more ways than one
Now when our bodies rest
It is time for our souls to connect and confess
What is truly happening here
As mine whispers in your ear:
I need you to believe

I love what you do to me.

You want to raise your hand
Against her.
Well I raise my hand against you
In question.
Do you feel strong?
Do you feel tough?
Do you feel good,
Thinking you're in the right?
Just how ******
In the head are you?
And the most important question:
How fast can you run ******?
Where will you hide?

You call it teaching,
Training,
Instruction.
Well come to my class
And I'll teach you
Oh how I will teach you
About abuse,
Torture,
Breaking Points.
For your bones will break
Like her heart.
And your eyes will cry,
Like her soul.

Water and sapphire doth crave
The color blue held within thine eyes,
And thou doth possess skin so fair
To such a degree that cottony clouds
Become none more than stones of sand.

The beauty that thou outwardly projects
Doth draw my soul so deeply in.

Shakespeare would compare thee
To a summer’s day,
But I must disagree for thou art more
Closely resembled by the winter’s night.

With the twinkle of one million stars
From the skies held within the eyes
Of only the most beautiful,
And the purity of a fresh snowfall
Envious of the natural beauty
Only your fair body can possess.

Some may offer their heart,
But to thee, my love, I doth give my soul.
For long after the final beat of my heart
Resonates from beneath this chest of mine,
My soul itself, shall wander with thee,
And by merely being in the presence
Of such a beautiful soul as thine,
Mine will always feel alive.

My heart's bipolar,
Feels one way
Then the opposite.
My heart's schizophrenic,
Changing minds
Cant get control of it.

I hate my conscience,
I hate my heart.
I try to make it right,
but it all just falls apart.
They always conflict
and I don't know what to do.
I just can't figure it out,
what's going on with me and you.
I'm not happy and
you aren't either.
I don't wanna hurt you,
be a woman's heart beater.
It's not you it's me,
it's not me it's you.
I'm falling down a hole
with nothing to hold onto.
Nothing's ever right,
everything's always wrong.
Are we meant to be
or were we wrong all along.
Can't sleep, can't eat,
my mind racing all day.
Wondering if I should stay
or just walk away.

Bloodshot eyes,
and a runny nose.
I stand at a fork
between two roads.
One to pain
almost instant.
But fades away
out in the distance.
The other leads
through a fog of confusion.
It seems like pleasure
but could be an illusion.
Rocky road that I
leave behind me.
One step forward
walking blindly.
Your hand in mine
let's go this way.
We walk into the fog
and love another day.