wishing the blanket was you instead

the top corners would be your arms anchored around my shoulders

the bottom corners would be your legs wrapped around mine

                  *h.c.b.

I once met a girl that made me feel as if we were the last humans on earth
we spent most of our days traveling to different coffee shops around the world
when we weren't sipping coffee from our mugs, we were blaring our favorite albums down the highway
I remember our old faded red jeep that we constantly had to stop to admire the views from around the world
as we stopped she would get out and snap different pictures and collect them for memories
after we climbed back into the vehicle and drove a few more hours down the road we took our final stop at a small coffee shop that was decorated with many flowers and plants
of course this was her favorite considering you never saw her without a small yet vivid yellow daisy stuck in her hair
this was the happiest I've ever seen her, with a huge white smile glued to her face as we walked out of the shop and took off in the jeep



a few miles down the road we came to a complete stop
this time it wasn't to take pictures or admire the view
I saw the yellow mug she had with her shattered on the ground
I saw the daisy flowing in the wind
and the front bumper of the jeep pushed inward with smoke flying out of the engine
I heard loud sirens rushing up behind me or maybe those were just in my head
my arms were ripped from the glass
my head was bashed and bruised making my vision blurred and clouded
I called out her name, over and over and over again
my voice shaky, timid, and flooded with fear



on the day of her funeral I sat for hours in the rain after everyone left
I finally told her how mesmerizing and beauteous she was
and how I had fallen deep in love with her along the journey
I got up, placing daisies and her most cherished yellow mug that I glued back together on top of her casket
and walked away

I told him its not what he wanted
Not when he's lying in the hospital
Thinking about how he wish he wouldn't have
Realism was finally hitting him
He knew death was just around the corner

I told him it wouldn't hurt just him
It would hurt me too
He never has listened to me and never will
I feel as if I was the biggest failure
And I knew I was

It was quick and easy for him but not for me
I thought I missed him before
Now I miss him more than ever before
The final day he took his final breathe
I took mine as well

the little things I miss

falling asleep with you
waking up with you still there
kissing your forehead
admiring the sunset that slowly turned to night with stars glowing bright as far as we could see
watching all the countless movies that meant so much

Sometimes we are vivid and bright
Other times we are plain and dark

Sometimes we are sunny and glad
Other times we are rainy and sad

Sometimes we are clean and certain
Other times we are foggy and unclear

Sometimes we are even both
But no one could even tell us why

the scars that hurt the worst
are the ones you can't see

the scars you can't see
are the hardest to heal

the scars hardest to heal
are the ones you can never forget