i had dream on 20th february. i usually write it down as soon as i wake up from it. and try to break it down and analyse it the next morning. but this one is, i don’t even think i can find the right words to describe it. not trying to sound dramatic but this dream transformed elevated my life completely.

i think it was a nightmare. most of this context probably wouldn’t make sense to a lot of people. it’s the kind of dream you need to have yourself to understand the feeling of it. it was very scary, a lot of blood, very chaotic.

i’m not going to write what my dream was about because i don’t want to sell it. but what i take from it is, from my understanding and after weeks of trying to comprehend it with the happenings in the dream and the effect it had on my life until today (29th april), i think my grandfather tried to reach out to me in the dream.

my grandfather passed away in 2017. in my dream, he saved me.

-i’m going to continue writing this when i have the words

cccccccconstantly que?tioning Myself

are they sweet or bitter ?

yeah.
it’s like that.

every other month,
i fly.
when my mind fills with worries and unease,
my lungs expand with fear not air,
my heart speeds,
and with a single backpack
i take a bus to the airport.
long ride listening to my comfort songs
is just a beginning to my little getaway.
(i already feel calm writing about this moment)

quick 30 mins wait at the gate, then
i fly.
my reality you can wait for me at the airport
right where i left you,
because you deserve a break too.

see you in 5 days.
i'll meet you back at the airport.

how do i tint the world in this colour?
i love this.
this is what i want to live in.
i like my days here.
my heart is beating so fast i can hear it in my head.
YES
this is it !
i’ve never felt more alive !
i’m breathing it and i see it !