I remember the first time I laid eyes upon you.
My heart raced with excitment,
palms sweaty,
nervous speech.
We exchanged out letters, snuck down to the river to see you.
Exchanged kisses and stories.
I remember asking myself... Is this lust or love?
The often confused quote.
I left home for you,
got engaged to you,
tried for kids with you,
wanted a life with you,
and never stopped.
Things began to fade... Lust or love? Lust or love, I would think...
I cornered myself with this question, never knowing the answer.
Now looking back...
Love.
Lust doesn't burn like this. Lust doesn't feel this way...
That question ruined us, and you don't even know.
You had no idea of this part of me,
how icy of me.
I'm cruel, i'm rude, i'm human.
Don't fall for lust.

Wholesome, innocent, blinders on;
Confusion, bitterness, boarder-line depression;
Suicide attempts, broken-ness, lost;
Sudden hidden happiness, struggle, rebellion;
Real love, decisions, growing;
Blinders off, eternally.

You had my mind spinning for awhile,
My first real love. Real emotion. Real pain.
I gave you my biggest possession, one that will not return,
I gave you my hand in marriage, until we crumbled.
Bits of our hearts, swept away in the wind.
Looking for something more, we both would never admit.

My heart races when I see that picture.
That connection was almost like an electric current.
It was only three days into meeting him,
already so attached.
But his path led south, miles away from me.
I know his heart is here, and he will eventually move here.
Two hearts, equally leveled in faith, joined at last.
I must have patience for him,
and him for me.

Disregard everything else
Let me begin with you
Let me end with you
Let life flourish and blossom between us.
I need to dig deeper to stay strong. To find that strength within myself you always spoke of.
I need to listen to you.
You, are my inspiration.

I'm staring at the devil and the truth of it is,
He's a lot more familiar than i'd care to admit.

If only I could focus,
maybe I could see.

If I didn't know any better,
I would say he looks just like me.

You don't understand it
You make my heart race, light it on fire, then set the ashes free;
Only to collect them at a later date and mend me back together.
You twist my love and hate together.
The desire, the pain, what is this worth?