All my life
I was allowed to appreciate the world around me
But lacked the means to express how

I could speak of the fluttering of a starling’s wings
Lifting into the majesty of the sky
By stirring the air
But you would not understand
The loneliness they stir in me

I could describe the stature of the far-off mountain
The snow-ridden summit stark white
Vehement in its unyielding presence
But you would not see
The spark of vehemence I feel in its wake

I could illustrate the way the sun sinks behind the hills
Staining the clouds orange and pink
Causing a blanket of soft light to awaken the earth
But you would not recognize
The nostalgia it awakens in my tired soul

I could narrate your mannerisms with clarity
The gentle smiles and nervous fidgeting
Shyly nodding in mild acquiescence
But you would not notice
The utter joy that holds me under its sway
As you lull my heart with your words

A masquerade, that’s my existence
I wear a pretty mask and keep my distance
Those who take notice flock to me
But it’s only my mask that they see

Afraid of my own visage, I
Embellish my façade and lie
I remain clinging to this foolish hope
That through these fallacies, I’ll cope

Tears and pain and hate stowed away
Behind a mask with a brilliant array

A careless comment knocks my mask loose
In mortification, I sob and mutter an excuse
This pathetic person cannot possibly be
The lovely mistress you thought to be me

Without my mask, I’m an evident mess
Opulent not in beauty but in stress
Avert your eyes, this is my ugly truth
The witnesses sneer, “How uncouth.”

So, I beg of you, please, I implore
Leave on my mask you so adore.

I hate the manner of the lilting song
My heart plays when your presence graces mine
You step so gently as you waltz along
Stars dance in your eyes as I reach cloud nine

No, wait! This false love is quite misguided
I know your facade deceives from your flaws
The painted smile you wear has subsided
And your gait slows as you come to a pause

The smile you wear is as fragile as glass
Unallowing of others to assuage
The vexing fears and pain that you amass
Your negativity kept in a cage

I beg of you, let down your walls for me
Let this cynic be as sweet as can be.

I thought of being an artist
A career I’ve always dreamed
But perhaps I wasn't the smartest
It wasn’t as it seemed

The lines disconnect and break
These colors a garish hue
A piece most bleak and fake
Is one I always rue

My hands mislead my mind
Unable to recreate for me
The picture I imagined, I find
This frustration a hefty fee

Art is expression, or so they say
But how can I express, I ask,
When my art only blocks the way
And proves a more daunting task?