i dreamt about him last night
i dreamt i was sleeping and he was close
i felt he was there, sleeping in dreams, asking me to move over
give him room
(give him space)

i dreamt i reached out my hand to touch him
to pull him into me
i felt he was there, sleeping in dreams, reaching a little more
to grab him
(let him go)

i woke up last night
i woke up after dreaming and sleeping
and he wasn't there
but i knew he would be close soon, reaching and saying,
move over, let me in.
(only in dreams)

i can’t cook.
i look at the pots
the pans
the silverware
and they stand guarded, fearing the water
the butter
each other.

they love their life of luxury
untainted bodies
parts that will never feel pain
nor wear and tear.

they want me to remain like this forever:
hungry

there is a buffet of unkept promises underneath your bed
and you feast on it constantly:  that must be what keeps you alive.
hiding in your room forever, a glutton.  
i starve over here, cause words are hard to come by and i do everything i say i will,
which leaves me looking underneath my bed for the next meal.
and i want so bad to be free,
to be near you,
to know what the hell i want.
drive past your house because i want to catch a glimpse of what keeps you alive,
locked away deep inside.
and you car stays in the same spot ever day and i am relieved.
as if you are staying in there just for me
and not for the all you can eat buffet