Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do, till you require.
Nor dare I chide the world-without-end hour,
Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,
Nor think the bitterness of absence sour
When you have bid your servant once adieu.
Nor dare I question with my jealous thought
Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,
But, like a sad slave, stay and think of naught
Save where you are, how happy you make those.
    So true a fool is love that in your will,
    Though you do any thing, he thinks no ill.

i hear you carry my name around
in your pocket [instead of on your sleeve]
so convinced that i forgot yours
on the bottom of a glass bottle

[but i could never]

when my mother turned my jeans
inside out to wash
she found your name scribbled
inside, over and over
and over again.

when you are old enough to speak
do not call love
a mental disease
do not resent it, do not fight it
because love is pure
and love is good
it's only when you throw
life into the mix
that it becomes toxic.

i've told the story of
how you broke my heart
so many times
that there is no heartache
left only for me;
i'm empty.

there's sleet between my teeth
and a thunderstorm in my mind
there's a hurricane in my heart
and a drought beneath my bed

I climbed onto the shed roof
To be closer to the moon.
I wanted to feel everything.
I was greedy, I burst with desire
To have the stars, the brightness,
Even the dull glow of the streetlamp.

I wanted each grey shadow
On the face of the moon.

I jumped
From the shed, from a wall.
I thought I would fly.
But I landed so hard that the
Bones in my feet hurt.

The ground, it was as hard
As the faces of passers-by.

I am 6 ft underneath.
I wanted to be next to the root's of tree's
i left in my note that i wanted you to be buried next to me,
so we can be together again.
So do not cry
i'm in my favorite blue dress
and i don't have to have a smile plastered to my lips.
Mom do not lay in my bed
your thoughts will start to hurt your head
and i don't want my pillow to collect more tears.
I had a good few years,
so do not fear.
Dad do not try and understand why i had to go
you cannot reason with death.
And he's a really good kisser.
Sister you can have all my things
please wear them,
remember me.
Sister i'm sorry i left
but do not wear your favorite dress
and beg for a taste of death's lips.
Bestfriend,
travel for me?
Bring my notebook and write down everything.
If i wasn't in the ground
you know i'd be with you.
so do not cry,
you know the reason why.

sometimes i write lies
but mostly i write about you
and sometimes
i don't know the difference

I have these voices in my head
And they are constantly
At war with me
And my self esteem
These voices are sadistic
They are cruel
They constantly warp reality

I try to fight these words
Every day of my life
It's so tiring
And to be honest,
Some days I don't fight at all
I welcome the dark thoughts
Invite them over for tea
Let them completely dissolve my insides
We laugh sometimes
The voices and I.
But usually we cry
Together

To me,
Love is the way
You always manage
To silence the voices.
Just your smile
Ignites my soul
To me,
Love is the way
You make my eyes shine.
Love is the way
I could just hold your hand
For all eternity

Love is how you've turned
All of my numbness
Into pure dumbness
Love is for fools
And sinners.

*I will go to the grave
With your name on my breath.