i’m hatin that you made me into what you hated in you
you made me go half crazy, jaw breaking, anticipating for you
we ain’t even datin yet you are waiting to see this through
who are you
no really, i don’t think you have the slightest clue

I'm a sick man to your intricate ways,
Feigning for what's not there yet getting high for days

I break my neck stretching to see what you might see
To perceive what you receive
Understand what's more than me

**** how'd I manage this
Wrapped up in someone who's oblivious
To what I think inside their bed
All these thoughts cramming inside my head

So i need to breath
Take a hit, it's all I need
To fit into conformity
That is what you have made for me
Lying to rest in peace.

It's like I lost the key to a broken door.
You see, I would open it but I would hope for more
a life filled with ecstasy.
Not the kind of e we abused recklessly,
but the kind we sweetly wished for at night.
Instead I see the world fall on its side.
As my flushed cheeks press against the cold floor,
I am waiting for a sign or something more.
To stand firmly on my feet and admit defeat.
As I am here
and you are there,
forget me not.
These excuses I have made, and there are a lot,
are as fleeting as you thought
me to be.
But I am here
and you are not with me.

We both wanted to fall for each other,
in our head,
but instead
we both fell for an old lover.
There was no time to recover.
We were sleeping in a bed
made for two others.
It was a shame, oh, what a bust.
No one to blame only but us.
Yet I feel as though I must
blame you for leaving you in the dust,
dumb founded, edges rounded.
I cannot snag on you,
so I put up a white flag for two.
You had no say, but neither did I.
The ex lovers had a way to pull us apart.
And to think it was destined from the start.

This need to prematurely make sense of everything is not "letting go."
So, I have blindfolded myself by which I do not know the color, but only the surprisingly smooth silk.
And with the same fabric I have tied my palms together, praying for grace above all else.

Where did you go to end up like this,
pent up aggressiveness.
Didn’t think you’d mess with miss
independent yet possessiveness.
Your entire life is looking for a cause
Lost many battles but more of wars
Lost men, but casualties were ours
Tough frontline, deep trenches, faux pas
This social latter is too tall
They say you can see it waver and fall
From where I stand, you’ve already got it all
Or maybe you need some maxitrol
See clearer here or maybe it’s my eyes
I think you think and soon you’ll realize
Life is less than what you televise
It’s more than what you conceptualize
It’s not a game of chess or some balancing act
Life is finding yourself and keeping you intact
I enjoy it here, king to my back
Controlling pawn to what you lack

I’ve got one eye open so all I see is him
Through the curtains and my window
He has rhythm intricate like the moon phases
Intoxicating and sacred
Leave my tongue hanging, salivating
He’d be like heaven on earth
Or in my rotation, my gravitation is pullin’ him in
Waxing and waning until he’s a new moon
He’s hiding his solar ring

Be careful who you give your soul to.
You won't be left with the whole you.
They won't treat you like they are supposed to.
No one thinks woe is you,
But only you.

I wanted him in the bluntest of ways.
I wanted his lips with the sweet blunt taste.
I wanted him in the way words want to be read;
to the millionth degree
and not only inside my head.

I get the joy of rediscovering him
It’d be a risk covering this up
And never looking back like Orpheus and Eurydice
His patience didn’t make the cut

“Yea you’re in the sea with me”
“Katelyn, don’t swim too far out” he said
But I got bigger dreams than any tsunami
He’s my lifeline to the coastline
He brings me back to earth
I undress him and caress his head
Kiss and bite his neck until it hurts
He likes it when I get aggressive
Loves when I say his name
Sounds different now, almost percussive
Banging our heads against the bed frame
We’re making a ******* hurricane
We drift
Would you stay on jack?
Just until the morning, or until I’m back
From the river styx
It’s cold here, I like it here, but please don’t forget
The way I made him feel when he didn’t know what to feel
The way I keep it real when he didn’t know what was real
He has to leave me behind now, he looked
The light I kept to follow him is out now, I’m hooked
Maybe the nymphs and deities will mourn our loss
And you will return to me by the will of the gods

Save your tears for another day
And maybe we can love again
For now there is no other way
It is true, we have found our end
So we know what is loved is lost
And what is lost cannot be loved
What touches your soul has a cost
And what is found should not be touched

What is it called when you know something must happen but you delay the inevitable out of hope.
In hopes of sticking it to the man, or whoever decided I have to leave you.
Because I do.
They are right.
I’m stuck in a rut of what-can-be-worse
But nothing proves me wrong.
Everything can be worse.
My only wish for all of this
Is to see you do better without me.
And maybe as you pack your last box,
I’ll feel lighter than before.

Be rest assured because death relaxes
Us
It reminds us of what was
That point you realize can cut us
Deep within that mind of yours
I must have it
Because you’re such a bad habit
It’s a pandemic god ******
Where’s the mad rabbit
I must be going down the same hole
Eat me to feel whole
But drink me from what you stole
This mouth of mine stings you cold
It brings you over and under my spell
It’s not love, that I can tell
But what you wish inside that well
Ain’t what you really wishing
Hell, it’s among Rockefell
Or
What you fell for
The riches you found inside my drawer
The body rotting on the floor
Is yours
Only two things in life that’s for sure

take your top off, you are faithless
because “you are looking like you hate this”
mouth off, go ahead “don’t make sense”
I think you think but we haven’t got the faintest
idea of what we are
‘i deal with it a lot’
i am trying to seem faithful when i signal it to god
above and beyond
you witness but forgot
and now i see your grimace face
remind me of our finished fate

I know you, I have dreamt of your whim
The promises you make for someone like him
Or her
She will teach me la vie en rose
He will gift me memories, too many untold
I cling too long and hard for days
And weeks upon months to years gone away

I know you, I remember your type
You broke my bed and made me mine
You were stabbed in the back once or twice
But now you breathe fine in a world on decline
I reach for him, “dear will you be mine”
Or dare I say I have crossed the line

I knew you, I am bored with this dance
You step too soon and squeeze my hands
The people in the room gasp and glance
“She’s not happy, she must be entranced”
I wish to be free to collect in advance
But nothing is free in a life of romance

It’s a shame, you’re looking for love
You won’t find it anywhere near here
Only eighteen minutes in my room pourin’ up
I guess it’s worth telling you
There’s nothing but the mere
Truth
It’s gin and vermouth
I’m putting you under my control

The sun lit up the leaves like they were on fire