sometimes when i talk words just come out and i laugh because when i write stream of consciousness it just sounds like a fever dream
and then i see the flickering in the corner of my eye and then i hear my name
not the one i want to hear
the other one
and nobody said it and everyones still
and this isnt poetry the way the ones i love write poetry
they put words together in a way that sounds good and makes you feel
i put words together so i can understand them myself
i want people to read my poems because i want to be understood
but everything just leaves me in the dirt
i dont want to see it
i dont want to see it anymore

i want to cry because i cant help you
but i cant cry because i dont want to make it worse

sometimes i worry because i am nothing
i am nothing at all
agender and aromantic and asexual and sometimes i feel almost ahuman
but then i remember that some of the most beautiful things are nothing
the space and the night and what i like to hear is in the bad part of your mind
sometimes you dont have to be anything at all

names are really important to me.

i like saying your names.

your names are important to my and my name is important to me and when you say my name i feel important.

i say your names out loud when i think of them because maybe you will hear me and you will come back.

you all might hear me, then.

Well the thing is
I don't know how

She holds my hand tight
Like she's afraid I'll fly away