Everyone looks at me and they judge me but I don't blame them they won't understand.
I was innocent girl believed in christmas father believed in fairies belived in love and trusted everyone .
But someone took it all away and it was too soon for me.
It was a night as any other night I looked out my window so the stars and smiled.
Switched the light of hugged my teddy bear and closed my eyes.
As I was about to come to the middle of my sleep.
The door opened I was scared thought it was a monster...
Yes it was a monster but it was a human being acting like a monster his hand on my little lips . His whole body between my tiny hips he thought they were big enough for him to fit.
Worst pain I have ever felt and the more he seemed to pump it got worse .
Tears on my face throat burning I couldn't breath.
As the "monster" walked out of the room everytime .
He would leave me broken than I was before.
From that day the world seemed different not save .
Cause oneday the monster 's mask fell out and I realised that this was not a real monster it was a man that was supposed to love me and take care of me.
But he thought wreking me everyday was right.
And guess what the woman that carried me for nine months knew about this but she turned the other cheeck.
So tell me how can I stop being so paranoid when the world just showed me how people can decieve you people you love.
The man that was supposed to take my mom as his didn't feel she was enough so he destroyed a innocent soul.
And my mom couldn't imagine herself squeezing the pilllow so she pretended not to see it.
Know you know the story
Behind my bitternes
Behind my anger
Behind my sadness
Behind  my paranoia
When that man broke me he took my innocence .

An artist by nature.
A beauty by heart.
A prisoner by mind…I’m falling apart.

What more can I do?
What more can I say?
I’m losing myself in a world gone astray.

No, wait.
That’s not right, the world’s not to blame.
It’s me who’s the problem.  
My soul’s ran away.

“Where are you?”
“Come back!”
“Don’t leave me like this!”
I say,
with tears in my eyes and a tightly clenched fist.

Spiraling spiraling spiraling down
….am I so far gone I can never be found?...

I want to escape, to break free from the chains
That have been holding me hostage since the day my dad walked away.
But with each passing year they get heavier and heavier.
I just want to be free of this hell-binding barrier!!!

Overwhelmed.
Insecure.
Worthless.
Tired.

I see the imperfections.
The weakness that has grown.  
I’m broken.  I’m breaking.  
…lost…
Waiting to be found.

What happened to the warrior I was once said to be?
There’s a cut on my foot, put there intentionally.

The scar,
The pain.
It was self inflicted.
Why am I constantly feeling so **** restricted?

That night I couldn’t breathe.
Couldn’t move for half an hour.
But I dragged myself up and reached into the shower.

The razor sliced hard.
The darkness had robbed me of all of my power.

I was defenseless against myself.
Weeping and cold.
Shaking with guilt of an act gone untold.

I lied,
Am still lying, about its very existence.  
Saying a pan fell and broke.
One of them old cooking dishes.

But I know why it’s there.
What happened that night.
I broke down.
I am scared.
Wound up in fright.

Who am I?
Who have I become?
Let me out!
Leave me be!
Darkness, you’ve won!
Now please,
RELEASE ME!

I’m lost, can’t you see?
I just want to be found.
The girl I once was?
She’s no longer around.

But I’m here.  
Way deep down.
Under all the dark mess.
Don’t stop looking for the girl.
The damsel in distress.

Listen here !
Yeah you!
You that is talking about a woman as a spare wheel.
You beating your wife everyday just to prove you're a man.
You cheating on your wife with younger girls saying its a lifestyle.
Listen here fool!!
You got out from a woman 's  womb you have no right to disrespect one.
You think you're  man cause you have a spare wheel.
You think you're a man cause you strong enough to make a woman feel worthless.
Let me tell you something you nothing put a usseles ******* with a tail between the legs .
That's not what I take as a man...

In this lonely hour I need no one else but you.
This other voices just don't cut through.
Its like they talking another language I don't understand.
When I meet with you I always know where I stand.
A sweet loving person that I know loves me no doubt .
In this lonely hour I need you everyone can get out!

Cause there is only one person I need in this lonely hour I need you...