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A K Krueger Jul 2014
Sometimes I think I'm going insane.
Other times I think I'm being dramatic.
Both thought patterns are seemingly logical.
But they can't both be right.
.... It feels like insanity.
If there's a hell, I think being in my head is where it's at.  
"Welcome to Hell"
right on my ******* forehead.
I hope I'm not destined to depression for the rest of my ******* life.
I asked the Universe for a sign.
I **** you not, it illuminated the "No".
**** me, right.
I don't know. There's no reason to be upset.
No clouds. So no silver lining.
Just nothing.
Floating down the depths of dark abyss in which nothing is felt under an ominous ebony cloud of are you ******* kidding me why am I writing no one's reading this anyway.
A K Krueger Jun 2014
Crystal gleaming, blinding sight,
I crawl, small seeming, though tall, I tried.
So hard to stand in dark evolution,
the solution claimed as stark;
Yeah right.
I need a change under the sun,
But forest ranger is my part.
So only night, lit by lamplight
Conceives revolution
in this Dark.
What choice do I have?
Which paths to take?
Green stained machetes
Dictate the stakes.
Long for the sun,
And long, we may,
Alas,
Must do with a lamplit day.
A K Krueger Jun 2014
Driving slow, late at night,
in the 3 AM rain.
It happened suddenly;
"Pit, pat, pit, pat",
it spattered lightly on my windshield.
I should have smelled it coming, I thought;
I usually always do.
This I conclude as I make my random rounds,
through the place we call "our town",
that I must be more distracted
than I initially thought.
As I take in the sound gratefully,
(not as familiar to me in the midst of a Summer season)
I bathe in the Afterglow
without any particular reason.
It then occurred to me that it has been years
since I listened to slow music without fear of tears.
I don't know...
Some tell me the rain makes them sad.
For me, somehow,
it makes me feel safe.
The sound is a comfort,
the smell is a comfort,
the sight is a beautiful thing,
a miracle, if you will.
That we can somehow be cleansed
by the laws of nature, by the heavens above,
without asking... Doesn't it leave you in awe?
I am not afraid of the weather.
I long for all of it.
Because, I don't see sadness in the falling water.
In it, I don't see fear of what is to come,
or what has been.
I see nothing, for the rain encompasses all,
and locks me in the moment with it.
I feel everything warm, for it perfectly juxtaposes
all that is soft and well.
We can feel beauty without fear.
We can feel pain without consequence.
It holds me like an embrace from a father,
and reminds me that I am, in fact, Here,
and all is, in fact, Now.

Yes, I feel eternity in the rain.
A K Krueger Jun 2014
I drove slowly down
The depths of the dusk
As she chewed on the stems,
I tried on the tusks.
As she entered high
And I crawled down low,
I wished for the truth
Of what she soon would know.
Oh what joys could it bring?
Patterns was she seeing?
I wondered in silence;
A sleepwalking being.
I admit I cannot,
Though I wish that I could,
Or not that I "can't",
Rather, if I should.
My stability's lacking
My sureness unsure,
Good trips need good backing
And a soul that is pure.
As of right now,
I am less than demure.  

So dull grey is life,
Forced laughter is love,
But the answer to existence
Lies in a questionable, edible drug.
A K Krueger May 2014
Why on earth
did I run, you ask?
Well let me lay
it out for you:
I cannot change
what I have done,
Neither can you,
to be true.
We might have been
Strong as we once were
But those days are gone
Not to return.
Even if we tried,
Gave it a go,
Memories of my wrongs
In your mind, would burn.
You wouldn't be able
To let it go.
Don't kid yourself.
I know you know,
As well as I:
"Forgiveness is divine,
But never pay full price
For late pizza."
Basically, you can't forget.
I know you can't.
Anyway,
what I should have done
Was told you the sad truth:
That I still love you.
That would have scared you off,
So this void i feel now
Wouldn't be my fault.


Shoulda
coulda
woulda.
  May 2014 A K Krueger
melodie foley
Because life is hard, baby
And if you get it all down in writing
You'll never forget the lessons learned
A K Krueger May 2014
Why did you do this to me?
For I, in seriousness, was fine.
The lines were drawn, walls were clear,
For once in years my heart was free.
I'd slowly grown, building strength
To forget all that we were.
And at the mountain's top is where you found me,
Pushed me back down that ******* hill.
You crashed all that I'd carefully built,
And not in the good way, mind,
In less than, what, a millisecond?
My common sense, you killed.

What possibly posessed you.

To push my hopes skyward.

Only to ignore me since then.

I'm broken again, it's true.


Thanks again. I hope you're happy.
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