Every day,
I think of you.
There's never a moment
When you are not
In the back of my mind.
I call myself foolish,
I call myself wrong,
I call myself ridiculous
Because I know that you're gone.
But something still,
Has a giant hold
On my fragile heart strings
And it's not your fault.
Quitting cigarettes,
That's nothing.
Quitting you,
Will take all that I have.

Nothing.

All I can think of is him.
And I don't give a **** about anyone else.
Including YOU.
That's right, you, reading this.
What, you don't think I can't see you?
Yeah, look around.
I'm not there am I?
No *****, I'm here.
In your head.
I am the perfect human being.
All that you began with
As a child.
I can see all that you are.
And I have a lesson for you.
When things seem to be most confusing,
Take a large step backwards,
And separate yourself from
All that you've been doing.
It's then that you'll see,
The truth lies in the
Bigger picture.
And I do not
Care for anything that
Is not Love.
Neither did you, at one point.

I'm happy. Almost.

And no,
I can't explain
The feelings I feel now,
They've been here
Hiding
Waiting for me
To come on
   back
     down.

As Barista makes my Jasmine tea,
I write a little poem for me,
My hipster ***,
My thrift-store wear,
My hair's a'toss,
Without a care,
I wonder why
With all them here,
I feel at home,
I feel no fear.

I feel insane.
I'm being
No different
But I'm not okay
On the inside.
Nobody gets it.
Can't you tell?
That all of my insides
Yell at me
WHY?
I ******* hate this life.