Why?
What is it?
What was it?
Could I not see
The things that they could?
Or was it all a lie...
I just want to know,
Why?

The feeling of wonder
For a life of thunder
The hail pelts all,
This indifferent punishment
What for?
This life that's under
All the weight of sins before,
And we can't fight it anymore.
Here we stand
With open arms
Open eyes
Open hearts
To the pain and suffering,
To the understanding
Of life and all of it's pointlessness.
To say I'm sorry
Is not enough
To live with clarity
Is not enough
To remember you
Is not enough.
God will hold you
For my return.
Just so I can embrace
All that you were and are.
So I can love you
With the fullness of understanding.
I've missed you.
I'll miss you
Till then.

I don't want to hurt you.
Not like he hurt me.
It's not my intention,
But my actions,
Like echos of the wrongs inflicted,
Leave my soul conflicted.
All the dreams depicted
By my words,
that turned into nothingness,
Tell me I should hold out,
Hold off,
On the love I want to be real.
I envy you
And all that you are.
I ride on apathy
Until I'm well enough to feel again.

Let us confirm,
It's been a rough winter for us all.
We live in the valley,
And What was once (I'm assuming)
Beautiful grassland,
Is now a concrete jungle,
With a few scattered suberbs,
a plethora of crooks,
And a growing amount of graffiti.
But it's okay.
Today, the sun is rising.
Today, I am breathing.
Today, I look out on all the wrong,
And somehow, we are all right.
We're just trying to live.
Trying to survive.
I don't belong here.
But I don't belong anywhere else, either.
This is the place of origin.
Of pain.
Or lessons learned.

What are the words
I mean to say?
This drink, it flows,
Inside my veins,
And life, it moves
And flows for me
Yet worldly pleasures
Drive the weak.
As I long
To tell you these,
All I can say
Are words that please.
I love you
I love you,
Do I,
Do I?

Sweetheart, dream.
And listen on
To the stars that flow
From here
To beyond.

Everything changed.
And yet, it was a mere second of time...
But in my heart, it was an ocean away.

I saw your face
I saw your pain
I saw you confusion
I saw your tears forming,
The tears of a small child
Wondering, "why did this happen?"
And suddenly,
You were mine.
Mine to to care for,
Mine to heal,
Mine to love.
I wanted to tell you

I love you.

But I don't know what love is anymore.

And I don't know why.

Today I am alive again,
Searching for the reasons,
In the past, my lies are friends
To every darkened season.

I long to live, create, and die
A slow, meaningful death,
Where whitened, shining dreams defy,
And there's no need of breath.

But in this moment, I am here,
Walking, breathing, dying
And soon to find the path that's clear
The sun, my soul, is rising.