In the night
The swings rocks slowly
The stars are dull
The night bugs chirp.
The little lights
The rocks, well placed.
The bridge above
The water, calm.
I remember
Every instance,
Every feeling
Soft and sure.
You made me believe
In my own happiness.
You made me believe
In myself.
I'm sorry I left.
I had to go.
And took the little broken pieces
Of your heart with me.
Please believe me.
I am sorry.

The moment is subtle,
Raindrops on the lake.
The sun warms my tired face
Your look is not fake.

But you own me, you know this,
That gleam in your eye.
I hold onto your chest,
Glance up at the sky  

All that I thought of,
All that I knew
About me and myself,
Is destroyed by you.

The moment is simple,
I waited for this.
You lean in I lean in....
The good morning---


*wakes up

Learn to let go,
Accept,
Accept.
How my heart aches.
For therapy
In the pain.
And knowing why.
The truth,
We all know it.
No matter how long
We've forsaken it for.
There's nothing
You can say
To change me.
It's what you don't say,
What's implied,
Makes me think.

;

Nothing
Nothing
Happens here.
In the light
That sheds itself
Upon the walls.

You must clean
To breathe
Just breathe
To survive,
Not needing.
In need of no one.
No love for
A thing,
But love itself.
No idea
Why or where
It became so hard
Just to live.

And everything falls.
Nothing goes up
Past the age of innocence.

Every wise word,
Every sad instance,
Plucked from
Something easier
To bear
Than to remember.

What are women
To men of strength,
Other than dumb
Picturesque backdrops
Accentuating their
Own success and vanity.

No words...
No words.

Yes now I know that none can do,
I had a dream, I dreamt of you,
Your hat your smile, your laugh and style,
The feel of hair on back if head,
The grey hoodie, your smile and bed...

Awoke from this, not dream, but vision,
A memory with unnatural precision,
Saddened brow upon my face,
That happy thought so out of place....

Released from vault, secured and hidden,
Dusty, crinkled, croaking soft...
A given reminder of what once was,
What's not to come, what's held aloft.

When you're in a school,
And can't find a pen,
To write down the things
You would say to him.

When you try so hard
And no avail,
The only mark you make
Is a weeping trail.

When you love the people
Who love you the least,
They wouldn't blink
Should your existence cease.

When you know the truth,
But believe it false,
And you're alone,
In empty halls.

When you want what you see,
And have what you don't,
And you are who you are,
But want to be who you won't.

The life you knew,
Is nothing now,
It faded away,
But you can't remember how.