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Audi Jul 2018
I don’t understand
When people talk about their demons
As Screaming and Stomping and making a Scene
Mine whisper
Almost inaudible
They discreetly plant tiny seeds of doubt in my subconscious
And repeat my insecurities until they get stuck in my head like all my favorite songs
They glide
Swim through my veins
Poison my blood
They crawl into my heart and twist it
I can feel them clawing at my lungs
Causing clenching in my chest
And breathing to hurt
They’re barely noticeable
To anyone else, they aren’t at all
But they know me too well
And I know them
Too well for their little whisperings
To go unnoticed
Audi Feb 2018
My mother taught me
To play with the kids
Who didn't have friends
On the playground

My father taught me
To love everyone
More than you love
Yourself

My society taught me
That there are lots of
Different people and
Views to see from

My mother taught me
To build walls
And live in a cage
I built for myself

My father taught me
That a perfect person
Is the worst
Kind

My society taught me
To get a boyfreind
So that I could look
Happier than everyone else

And life taught me
That trust is for the weak
Hope is for the desperate
Love is for the lucky
Audi Jul 2018
I'm dangerous
You thought you saw
My soul through my eyes
So you trusted me

But I lied
My soul hides
Behind my eyes
Where no one thinks
To look

Most people think
That they understand
What life is

I understand
The way to make people
See the world they want to see
And then burn it
With the flames
In my hair

Life is my game
Love is just a name

I'd drink
Myself to death
With the blood
Pouring out of me

But it dried up

Sometimes
I still bleed
Tiny pearls
Red tears
Each drains a little color
Out of my skin
Audi Feb 2018
prison is Heaven
compared to where I am

solitary confinement
two meals a day,
mostly just composed of cookies
and soda

watching light fade
terror in my
eyes

the demons come
when the sun dies

they grab you by the hand,
pass you a knife,
and show you how
to use it against yourself

love the pain

you aren't safe

you are surrounded

but still alone

unnaccepted

a dissapointment

never enough

they whisper with tongues of flame
that burn my ears

then soft colors tint the horizon
and the demons run away
again
they were my only freinds
now I am lonely

so I invite them
to come stay with me
live in my head and my heart
and my mind

I'll die but I won't be alone
they hate me but I won't be alone
I'm broken but never alone
Audi Feb 2018
Outer Space is beautiful
In pictures
Or from a passing ship
Or from the Earth's small surface
But if you go out in it
It will suffocate you
Drown you in ice
No one will hear you scream
Audi Feb 2018
You think you know a person
Because you looked into their eyes
And thought you saw their soul
It was really just my pool of lies
You believed them

My real soul hides behind my eyes
Where no one ever looks

I know
How to paint a picture
of the world you want
To live in
You come inside

I burn it with the colors in my hair

I used to bleed sometimes
The blood is all dried up now
My heart doesn't have a job anymore
It wanted one, so I
Fed it poison to pump

Through my veins
Through my body
Through my mind

Everyone has a story
Everyone wants to tell it
There are some who lock it away
They pretend it doesn't exist until one day it gets so fat from slowly eating their soul that they can't hold it anymore or squeeze it back into the box it was held in and then it it coming up their throat and tears are mixing with blood and with sweat and then finally after so many years and years of this suffocating existence they
Die
And they have peace
Finally

But then there are some
Who give out little pieces of their story
On little pieces of paper
To everyone who walks by
And there's a note on the back of each slip

It says "Love Me"
Audi Feb 2018
you used to have
the brightest eyes
they changed color in
the light
or when you felt
something new

theyre gray now
most of the time
sometimes they still change
to blue

but they never
turn yellow
you dont let them
you dont think you
deserve
to be happy

hes a monster
and you were pure
monster: an inhumanly cruel and wicked person
monster: a thing or animal that is excessively or dauntingly large
monster: a congenitally malformed or mutant animal or plant
he was all these
things to you
and more

it wasnt his fault
monsters feed on purity
and ***** it
he was pure too
but his monsters took it away

pure: free of any contamination
pure: wholesome and untainted by immorality

none of us in this world
are pure
anymore

even if the monsters
dont get us
we become our own

im sorry that i became a monster to you
Audi May 2018
Somehow,
Creativity,
Love,
Poetry,
Art,
And
Emotion
Flow
More
Quickly
Whe­n
You're
Here.
Audi Feb 2018
The day for the happy to appreciate
What they have

The day for the broken to wish
They had never lost what they did

Another day for the unlucky
To try and find a meal

While the wealthy and privileged
Fill their stomachs and hearts

With sickly-sweet tastes, scents,
And people they don't know how to love

— The End —