5am skies
Paint a periwinkle view
A slick step underlies
This cold morning dew

It should come as no surprise
The birds echoing coo
And I can only surmise
That springs fighting through

But the forecast lies
And warm glimpses are few
As winter bored eyes
Beg the sun to come to

This town softly sighs
Reluctant flowers grew
And sunlight it pries
At the clouds we so rue

Yearn for giving up ties
To bundling till we brew
Instead saying our hi's
To the shorts we outgrew

Then we'll hear children's cries
As the school year is through
How summer yearly buys
Precious freedom to renew

As a sunbather fries
To reach a darker hue
And teenage boys rise
Forget shirts when they do

When the cold rain dries
Although not quite on cue
This change is a prize
You could take part, too

18 feels like..
Being caught between the door and the wall
In a game of hide and seek
A gasp hanging over your head
A breath shrinking your chest

18 is the eager freshman
Stumbling down the hall
Schedule in hand

18 sounds like it should be some bigger picture
Than 9x2

18 feels like an adulthood indoctrination
For the forest fairy believers

18 is the first trip to a strip tease
Full of chanting and discarded dollar daughter smiles

....

18, you could've done worse to me
...


18 makes me walk as though I've atlas' own shoulders
Like a puffer fish,
Bulking up
As though I am anything but prey

18 makes me wonder when the world shrunk so
The house has never felt this small
And I,
Grow ever more aware of just how much space I occupy

18 needs not hold my hand as I walk across the street

I know how 18 goes down like age old whiskey
The burn must come before the warmth

The ticks of the clock are wavering under the sound of snoring through the house
I cannot see the clock
And it seems I've been here so long
I wonder if time has stopped,
Slowed, drooling down
Their cheeks
Onto a pillow

As I slyly try to slip
unnoticed
into that same unconsciousness
Search party flashlights shine thoughts to my mind
Pierce me for a moment
So bright
I must look

And ****-
Just like that,
There goes the exit sign

So I flop around like a sunbather
Flustered
No light to soak,
While the next head over
(My sisters)
Is draped in a French fry crown
Being fanned by her burger henchmen
The McDonalds queen
orders her bidding done

And mom
Below in the basement
Is caught in her teens
Primping feathery hair
To an 80's pop tune
Chanting into her hairbrush
Until she becomes Stevie nicks herself

And next door,
and on this street,
and the next,
People enter their portals
To find (or forget) the untouchable realm of their minds
And I lie
And I wait

I'm giddy again, little girl note passing butterflies, you're fluttering through my veins again, it's like the first kiss  but I don't even need the touch, hours apart but I'm weaving through these memories like keepsakes in a box and I never want to lose it, I never want to store them in some dusty attic, you deserve more, you deserve a space in my mind I'll call the best kind of nostalgia some day, and some day when turmoil has its say I'll open up this box and feel your warmth, even if I'm hours away, I'll whisper my good mornings and good nights into these walls so you can surround me once again. I'll carry your burdens on my back and call them mine. There will be bad days. Promise me you'll never let them weigh down on the good ones. Make me your nightlight and I'll fight off the dark. When you lay down with the sun, remember I am there to be your glow. And we can rise together with the day and greet it as an old friend. This old friend I hope we can see again and again.

Is it selfish of me to mourn my skin? Having seen the patients around me with no surface left to theirs, how can I still mourn a flesh Ive always taken for granted? Now I kiss the places the fire kissed me in hopes of aiding in the healing. But how hard the healing has been. Those first three hours in the emergency room when I swore that I could still feel the fire, as white coat blurs of faces peeled my layers. I cried out for each screaming cell. My eyes swelled shut to spare my weak mind. Skin, I would no longer want to look at. Skin, I spent hours tanning and pampering. Skin, I planned on wearing with confidence. Shorts and swimsuits, summertime smiles. I wouldn't know for some time what I lost when I was burned. I'm still learning to love what I have gained. Strength, slowly strung itself about me, day by day I dreaded the coming day less and less. I managed as we all do. I managed to scrub my own skin raw just like the doctors. I managed half smiles and choked laughter. I managed positive thoughts and dreams of recovery on the horizon. It looked so far yet so beautiful, so enticing. It is nearer now, close enough to feel the glow. Yet, it comes not without struggles of its own. See, I must remember to love myself. When the last of my strength seeps out with my tears. I must remember to be grateful. For my body's determination to heal has only sprouted from the days warped with dread and pain, I have grown. I may not like what I see but I needed to love my insides more anyways. This charred skin is a lesson I should wear without shame. It is only a tribute to my strength. It is only a picture of my resilience.