i remember being little.
i read and read and read
and the words came easy to my tongue
and everything that happened was a story.

i remember the world was poetry.
every breeze had a meaning
and i could descibe it perfectly
and everyone knew i was an artist.

i remember feeling.
every time someone hurt i knew it
and i was made of empathy
and i could settle them with a hug and kind words.

i remember fading.
i tried and i tried and i tried
and everything was hollow
and nothing was beautiful anymore.

i remember empty.
its here always every day
and i can't make it go away
and i can't remember where the words went.

i realized it 10 years ago today
that my heart doesn't follow the right cliche
i think the wrong things every day
so i feel guilty every time i try to pray
and i don't like it when girls walk away
but i like the way their hips sway
i mean i guess guys are okay
but in a friend sort of way
it's not something i planned to convey
because my parents dreams i tried to obey
basically what i'm trying to say
(if i may)
i'm...
not straight.

you were my sunshine
i was your sunflower

i mean, you were my lifeline
and i filled you with power

and now that you've left me you shine just as bright
but don't you know that flowers die without light?

scissors in hand
i look toward my wrists but
turn toward my hair
each cut a temporary bandaid
on the urge to self destruct.

teenage brains don't mix well with 1.5 ounce shots
but broken hearts don't mix well with these thoughts
and there's a bottle of ***** hidden in my drawer
but i see you every time i open my bedroom door
so maybe for now i'll lie and weep on the ground
and hope i get drunk on the tears your leaving brought around

i know it's wrong
but that burning liquid makes me feel so strong
started out as a joke
now i think i might choke
how to describe the buzz
how to describe what it does
makes oceans roll in my head
as i lay still in my bed

i know what's right
sometimes i try to fight
hold the bottle above the sink
promise myself this time I won't take a drink
hand shaking
will breaking

and it's done, i'm so tipsy, my body is dizzy,
how do i keep away from this whiskey?